Important Announcement

See here for an important message regarding the community which has become a read-only site as of October 31.

 
Post Reply
Switch to Forum Live View My daughter's b-day is 2 days before my son's death
10 years ago  ::  Apr 29, 2008 - 2:09PM #1
chauncey'sma
Posts: 32
I am so torn that I am driving myself crazy.  My daughter's 9th birthday is May 8 and my son was killed on May 10.  She wants to have a party and she deserves to have hr day.  My problem is that with Chauncey's death being so close to her birthday, I'm not so sure that I can handle it, although I keep tellin gmyself that I will be fine.  I do not want to sit around crying all day.  When he was killed last year weI (my son & I) had planned a party for her that Saturday, but he was killed that Thursday before, so I cancelled the party.  Well she woke up that morning wanting to have her party, and since there were so many people around at that time, I decided to go ahead and do it.  Tthough it was a last minute decision, it turned out good for her, she didn't have a lot of her friends there, but many family members were.  So I have decided and I know that Chaunce would want this too, but I am going to let her have a party at CJ Barrymore's.  She loves this place and wants to have her party there.  She has been a real trooper this past year and I want her to know that she is special to me too.  She deserves this and I am going to do it for her as best as I can.   I have received many phone calls from Chauncey's freinds and my friends and families, they all want to know what I have planned for that day.  So now I will return their calls and tell them of my decision.  I don't even know if I will go to the cemetary that day, maybe I'll do it the day after so that I won't ruin her day.  I would love to get some feedback from some of you veterans outh there, am I being realistic here or am I setting myself and my daughter up for a letdown.  Please advise.
Quick Reply
Cancel
10 years ago  ::  Apr 29, 2008 - 2:44PM #2
Dakotabarrett
Posts: 104
[COLOR="Blue"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Hey darlin'
I think you are going to find it way too hard to celebrate anything at this time.

Going by personal experience, this first anniversary was so very hard, as I relived the whole day and so many of the things that were said and done on the day my son died.  You can have the best of intentions, but it might be more realistic to realise that you probably will not cope very well on the day.  I'm sure your daughter will understand about anniversaries and how important they are.

Is it possible to let her have the celebrations on another day?  I'm sure she wouldn't want you breaking down every now and then while the party is on anyway.  Have a talk with her love, and explain that it is worrying you that you will not be able to be happy enough for her on that day, because of the date, not because of the ocassion.

But that is just my opinion hon.  You might be feeling that you can handle it, and put it off until another day for your grieving.  Whatever you decide to do, your son will be by your side and support will be there for you with a host of beautiful Angels.

I will be thinking of you love and hoping your day is as good as it can be.
love and Angel Blessings,
Shauna xx (\o/)(\o/)(\o/)
[/FONT][/COLOR]
Love and Angel Blessings,
Shauna xx (\o/)(\o/)(\o/)
Quick Reply
Cancel
5 years ago  ::  Nov 27, 2012 - 12:01AM #3
Mrsmilton
Posts: 13

Apr 29, 2008 -- 2:09PM, chauncey'sma wrote:

I am so torn that I am driving myself crazy.  My daughter's 9th birthday is May 8 and my son was killed on May 10.  She wants to have a party and she deserves to have hr day.  My problem is that with Chauncey's death being so close to her birthday, I'm not so sure that I can handle it, although I keep tellin gmyself that I will be fine.  I do not want to sit around crying all day.  When he was killed last year weI (my son & I) had planned a party for her that Saturday, but he was killed that Thursday before, so I cancelled the party.  Well she woke up that morning wanting to have her party, and since there were so many people around at that time, I decided to go ahead and do it.  Tthough it was a last minute decision, it turned out good for her, she didn't have a lot of her friends there, but many family members were.  So I have decided and I know that Chaunce would want this too, but I am going to let her have a party at CJ Barrymore's.  She loves this place and wants to have her party there.  She has been a real trooper this past year and I want her to know that she is special to me too.  She deserves this and I am going to do it for her as best as I can.   I have received many phone calls from Chauncey's freinds and my friends and families, they all want to know what I have planned for that day.  So now I will return their calls and tell them of my decision.  I don't even know if I will go to the cemetary that day, maybe I'll do it the day after so that I won't ruin her day.  I would love to get some feedback from some of you veterans outh there, am I being realistic here or am I setting myself and my daughter up for a letdown.  Please advise.


I too lost my son and just going to work on a new job out of town


Much pressure and anixety

Quick Reply
Cancel
 
    Viewing this thread :: 0 registered and 1 guest
    No registered users viewing
    Advertisement

    Beliefnet On Facebook