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6 years ago  ::  Dec 31, 2008 - 3:35PM #11
ManzanitaBear
Posts: 946
[QUOTE=erthmohr;987818]Wow, I am amazed by this story.
Perhaps you and your husband would benefit by sitting down, possibly with a third party and having a few long discussions.
nip it in the bud, is my advice.[/QUOTE]

Sounds like this has gone way too far to be nipped in the bud.
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 20, 2009 - 10:32PM #12
Free2beme09
Posts: 733

LMRodriguez wrote:

"GUM CHEWING IS NOT PERMITTED.




Have you asked why he has a no gum chewing fetish?  If you haven't you should.  How strange, but men are strange.  :cool:

I think its only a gum chewing thing, no reason to end anything.  There has to be some kind of gum understanding!  right?  :confused:

I am actually cracking up and I have to apologize.  :D  Men are crazy lil' creatures.  For crying out loud there has to be a equal medium or something.  Good luck!

Religion is for those afraid of hell.  Spirituality is had by those who have been there!
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6 years ago  ::  Jan 21, 2009 - 10:00AM #13
runegurl
Posts: 87
so...you married him in october of last year.  did he not act this way before you married him?  or has it been like this all along, and now it just bothers you because your daughter has outed how stupid it all is?

people rarely suddenly START at this level of controlling.  you may not have seen it because you were in it.  (been there, done that, got the tshirt, as they say.)

i couldn't live with someone who thought he had a right to "allow" me to do and not do things. i am an adult. it simply isn't appropriate.  i'm curious why you married him, if he was controlling before this.  and if he wasnt', then you have grounds for getting out now, imo.

control is a precursor to abuse. this will escalate.  be safe.
rune
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5 years ago  ::  Feb 03, 2009 - 1:22PM #14
GSW
Posts: 30
It seems evident that the gum chewing only pertains to you.  I follow the traditional biblical submission to my husband from my own choice & belief but it doesn't sound like you do or anyhow you didn't mention it.  Posing the discussion in Spirituality for Women though may imply it.  So anyhow, in my role as a Graciously Submitted Wife I have rules that wouldn't pertain to my children grown or otherwise. I have two grown sons & a ten year old daughter.  None of them are wives & not my husband's wife in any manner.   Things that would match gum chewing are hard for me to imagine though from my husband.  I suspect that if I were being noisy with it or chewing in a way that caused me to look unladylike he probably would ask me not to chew it that way.
Yelling & cursing though certainly doesn't fall anywhere in biblical submission though. Becoming angry with your spouse happens but treating your spouse in an unkind manner isn't acceptable. 
Having said all of that I would say that if it were me I would obviously not chew gum when I'm with him but also politely ask him at a time when you are both not angry what his reason(s) are for forbidding you from gum chewing.  If you aren't comfortable with asking him when you are alone, it would be a good idea for you two to meet with your minister or a marriage counselor.  Even if you are following the same path I am you have the right to know why you are being given a rule.
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5 years ago  ::  Feb 19, 2009 - 8:13AM #15
michaelsdiamond1
Posts: 1
my personal view of your relationship is it looks to be heading into abuse. The man seems to need complete control over everything in his life because he feels completely worthless. It looks like you'd both bennefut from individual and couples counseling.
praying for your highest good
Michealsdiamond
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5 years ago  ::  Mar 29, 2009 - 1:06PM #16
Simplyshy
Posts: 9

hELLO,


I AM NOW COUNTING MY BLESSINGS THAT I AM NO LONGER  MARRIED AND NO MORE RULES FOR ME TO DO OR ELSE, NO RULES FOR HIM ONLY ME.......... MEN MUST CONSIDER THEMSELVES  PERFECT, DID THEY EVER HEAR THEMSELVES OR LOOK IN A MIRROR?


THIS MAN IS NOW REMARRIED AND SHE IS RICH, AND WHEN I HEARD HER CUT HIM OFF CURTLY AT  OUR DAUGHTERS WEDDING DINNER AND THE WRINKLES STARTING BETWEEN


HIS EYES TO THE  TOP OF HIS BALD HEAD  THAT ONCE WAS HIS PRIDE AND JOY OF THICK CURLY HAIR. AND HIS PERFECT LOOKS  THAT HE WOULD TAKE STOLEN GLANCES FROM.


SHE PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE AND I ALMOST WANTED TO LAUGH, BUT KEPT MY DIGNITY AS MUCH AS I COULD. PAYBACK IS GREAT AND GETTING TO SEE IT TOO.  NOW SHE BARKS THE   COMMANDS  AND HE OBEYS LIKE A GOOD LITTLE DOGGIE, GRANTED HE DRIVES  A NEW CAR AND DOESN'T HAVE TO WORK ANY MORE.  BUT HIM NOT BEING IN CHARGE AND BEING ABUSIVE TOOK ALL THE OLD TOM OUT OF HIM.


NO WOMAN SHOULD EVER HAVE TO COW DOWN TO ANY MAN, MARRIAGE IS 50/50  AND IF   NOT RUN FOR THE HILLS.  PLUS COMMUNICATION IS TOPS ON THE LIST FOR THE MARRIAGE TO BE SUCCESSFUL AND THEN ROMANCE COMES FLOODING IN.


I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE AGREES WITH ME ,BUT THE ABUSE I SUFFERED BY THIS MAN AND THE NEXT ONE TOO , CAN'T DESCRIBE IT .  SIMPLYSHY

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5 years ago  ::  Mar 30, 2009 - 10:12PM #17
softstorms
Posts: 4

gum chewing.......it is all about gum!!!  So much control and so many things going on here!


God never said "AND DON'T CHEW GUM"   LOL    but the control of people is what I see here.    How can so many people care about chewing gum!!! It iss about controlling people!


If your higher power says..."DON'T CHEW GUM"  then I can see his point.......but...what higher power cares about chewiing gum?  

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