oceanbreeze333 wrote:

I saw someone post regarding readings in an earlier thread. What does it take to have one? I am going through a significant family change and we are trying to deal with it the best that we can. My 15 yr old daughter is pregnant. I am preparing to tell her father tonight. (He is a verbally abusive alcoholic) and I am very concerned about her life and what direction it is going to take, along with how this will effect my new marriage and the lives of my other daughter (10) and my step-son (9).

Is this the place to ask for guidance?

Thanks!

First thing telling the bio father about daughter's pregnancy. Is there a time of day when the man is sober? Better to give this news to a sober person than when he has been drinking. Drinking alcohol to excess can make a person abusive, so I would suggest finding a time when he might be sober. Know up front you cannot control his reaction to the news. Over the phone instead of in person. If he gets abusive you can hang up and not pick up if he calls back. You are correct to feel guarded concerning the ex-husband.

Word to the wise. Never say never. I have a friend whose teenage daughter gave the news of expecting a baby. At first my friend said I WILL NOT RAISE THIS CHILD. Her daughter was a little older than yours, but has some learning disabilities. Bottom line the child is born. The father is totally out of the picture and I believe in jail/prison. Eventually, the grandparents went to court to become the custodial guardians of the child. In other words they are raising the child. The daughter who is an adult now has lived in and out of the home. Currently out, but she visits her child and is not raising her. The child knows that the mother is her mother, but she also depends on the grandparents for all the needs a parent provides for a child.

There are always options, but you are aware of that. Like all of life you can only take this situation one day at a time. When people this young make babies there are no perfect answers. Let go of any guilt. As parents we do the best we can to teach our children moral values, but teenagers don't always take what parents tell them to heart.