From the book, "Choosing me before We" by CHristine Arylo
"Why are you reading this book?
Because it caught my eye I know that relationships have always been a mess for me, including this one, and that until I clarify who I am , what I want, and then ask for it, no demand it, expect it, I am going to be unhappy. A journey to self is thsi years goal.
What's really working in your life?
Making choices. Chosing to be proactive about who I am, how i am livign my life, my work, my spritualtiy, my friendships, my time.
What's not and how would you like to make it different?
Too much thinking and not enough doing. Allowing myself to keep doing the same thing but expecting differnt results. I want o fully engage with my life. To feel the fear and do it anyway.
Who is the most important person in your life today? If it is not yourself, why? Are you willing to make Me most important? I am but I dont take very good care of me, even less of others I think. Right now i am an precipice, I need to step out and wait for the path to appear, but am terrified that no path will appear. I have been me for so long I am afraid to embrace ME!! I am almost afraid of my own power so i stiffle it on a daily basis. I dont want to do that anymore.
Whats' going to get in the way of completing this book? Time? Fear? Obligations? Something else? Can you leave it behind? Make a list of things that you need to say "yes" to and "no " to in order to finish the journey this book offers, and then make the committment to participate in the whole adventure!"
Fear. Fear of complete honestly. Fear that if I am completely honest I may have to make changes I am also afraid of. Fear of accontablity to myself, I have some not so positive coping skills I am not sure I am ready to let go of. Focus. I can procrastinate with the best of them and makig myself do this, rally get honest and do it may be hard. Time is not an issue unless i chose to let it be. Mosty I am in full control of my time except for my work schedule and I have some control over that.
I need to say yes to giving myself the time, and making a priority nt just reading the book and doing the exercises but taking the hard honest lookl at what I really think, feel and beleive, so it is not just some things I rush over the surface of. I need time to bounce stuff off my good friends and therapist also.
MY answers are interspersed.
SO here is my committment. I, LGynLaura, give myself permission to spent time with me, my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams and my fears on a daily basis to work through this book and another part of my journey to authenticity. I also give myself permission to rest and recuporate when it overwhelms. I promise my true self to seek help when needed.
And to live with the inprefction of this and not spell check right now.