well it goes something like this (lol).I am 33 yrs old living in South Florida for 12 yrs.I was born and raised in Long Island N.Y.I am engaged 2 an amazing man Darren which we both agree it was a GOD sent thing.We both have been through a lot of the same things in life.We both struggle w/bipolar disorder and anxiety and addiction.Being bipolar is a hard illness and finding the right meds. can be a tough road.I am after 17 yrs finally on the proper cocktail,and am doing much better.I still have my days,but its ok cause I know that i may need an extra dose of my main medication,seroquel or an extra mood stabelizer.We both take the same meds. so we take care of each other in that way,which is such a blessing!!!!!I have had a rough past being stabelized and not knowing who i was.I was always in an abusive relationship,i guess u can say that i didnt love myself and i stayed in these horrid relationships because i didnt want 2 be alone.THANK GOD i didnt marry them!!After my BEST FRIEND MY FATHER,past on 4 yrs ago,and i got on dissability and getting the proper meds,cause we all know how expensive they are I was getting better slowly but grieving terribly.Unfortunately my X boyfriend introduced me to cocaine and I was hooked.I was self medicating w/it so much I had another breakdown.I finally made a choice,either stay on drugs and die or get help and start living.Well i made that living choice and I turned 2 GOD 4 help.I didnt go 2 rehab,i actually was doing Narcotics Anonymous online and for me it was amazing.I found a sponser and spoke 2 her whenever those cravings came along and we would pray and talk it through.After 5 months of being clean and staying on my psych. meds religuosly life was looking so bright and i did soul seaching on myself.I didnt date anyone 4 over a year,i was dating myself and learning 2 love myself and taking one day at a time.I wasnt beating myself up so much anymore,i was feeling FREE!!!!! I had found God,faith and hope.I am now over 2 yrs clean and its just wonderful to live a drug free life,im thankful and grateful 4 that and everything i have,that i could of lost.I try and help others w/addiction and mental illness as much as i can,i feel that is a mission GOD has given me 4 this lifetime.Even when im not feeling well,i push myself and do all i that i can 2 ride the tide.I have become a survivor and im proud of myself 4 never giving up even in my darkest hours.Well thats about it,im loving all the wonderful friends i have made here on Beliefnet and im here 4 anyone who need help or anything at all.AS THE SAYING GOES,BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT.GOD BLESS U ALL AND KEEP THE FAITH ALWAYS!!!!!!