This wassupposed to be  post but it was too revealing for discussion

Here is what really bother me personally about war" It is well that war is so terrible - otherwise we would grow too fond of it.  Robert E. Lee, Statement at the Battle of Fredericksburg (13th December 1862)
US-Confederate general (1807 - 1870)

I saw the results of B-52 raid on villages and  Jungle.  I smelled napalm, I saw bodies of GIs being loaded on Airplanes to be shipped home.  I have seen the graves  and headstones of soldiers.

 I remember the fear created by mortar rounds hitting nearby, of tracers just above me and hitting nearby.  But what really bothers me was the adrenaline  high  it created,  and by the third or fourth  occurrence was almost an addiction.   It was those experiences in which I learned the meaning of  Lees observation.

In Desert Storm, I did not see any combat, but was on the receiving end of some scud activity  and walked through the aftermath of combat.  The approach scuds revived the feelings of fear and excitement.     The problem is that in my mind I have not reconciled the two feelings/experiences