On Children
 Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

 

 

Written by skrufff  

 

 

The past 50 years have done wonders for women. We no longer spend our days chained to the home, we don’t wear dresses and aprons all the time, and our aspirations reach far marriage and children.

It's hard to imagine what life must have been like as a wife and mother in the 1950’s, but these helpful hints from a home economics manual from the time are a bit of an insight…

1950 VERSION:

Have dinner ready:
Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready for your husband. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home, and the prospect of a good meal is part of this warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself:
Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter:
Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Light a candle. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children:
Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimise all noise:
At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Better yet, have them in bed.

Don’t Complain:
Don't greet him with problems or complaints or complain if he's late for dinner. Just count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. Speak in a low, soft soothing and pleasant voice.

Listen to him:
You may have a dozen things to tell him - the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his:
Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom.
Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

2006 REVISION:

Have dinner ready:
One day a week plan ahead, preferably five minutes before, to have a delicious meal - we think you shouls stop at the fish ‘n chip shop on the way home. The rest of the week, scrounge food from fridge and cupboards. Pasta is quick and easy. Tell your husband that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs and would he please make himself a sandwich because you are too tired. Most men are hungry when they come home, so ignore their whining and point them toward the fridge.

Prepare yourself:
Leave him with the kids one night and go shopping. Chances are you’ve spent the day with a room full of people who hate their job as well, or your boring day may alsoneed a lift.

Clear away the clutter:
Kick magazines, papers, and mail off the coffee table so you can eat off it while you watch TV. Have the remote handy.

Prepare the children:
If you both need a break, send them to their grandparents' for the weekend. If the oldies won't take them, take a few minutes to tie children's hands and feet, and don't forget the gag. Tell them you are playing Cops and Robbers and you will free them as soon as their lawyer arrives. Usually, they will fall asleep before you come to untie them hours later. Your husband will think you are a genius, but don't expect flowers.

Minimise all noise:
At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Ha ha! Just kidding. We know you don't possibly have time to do laundry or vacuum. That stuff will have to wait until your next three-day weekend. If you want things quiet, turn the TV down. Try to encourage the children to be quiet (See Cops and Robbers, above). Be happy to see him if he stopped to rent videos. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him. If he doesn't seem equally glad to see you, start an argument. Since things are nice and quiet, he will be sure to hear you.

Don’t complain:
Instead, speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. This will alarm him and he will wonder if he has forgotten your anniversary or birthday. You could get a present out of it. Allow him to relax and unwind before mentioning that it's his turn to take the kids to the dentist.

Listen to him:
You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. This will placate his ego. His six words won't take long anyway. Don’t you just love those beach-based reality TV shows?

Make the evening yours:
Complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. If that doesn't work, leave. Go out to dinner yourself. After a few evenings alone with the kids, he'll see the wisdom of your words.