I joined Beliefnet in 2002/2003 while taking classes - trying to improve a tenuous situation.  I was on the abortion discussion board for the most part back then.  I like consistent life ethic stuff.  I like discussing news and issues of the day.  I like to get feedback and others' ideas/views about things and make sure I am not overlooking important facts/facets and share things that others may be overlooking/undervaluing.  I think we all have blind spots and the more eyes/hearts on a subject/idea, usually the better the understanding is.  I make - or try to make - an effort to find ways/bridges to build consensus - a worthy goal to strive for imhho - in as many things/areas as possible for better unity in the community.  This does not mean I am not opinionated - I do make strong stands on what I believe in.

"Sink or swim you gotta give it a whirl - life's a dance you learn as you go.  Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow - don't worry 'bout what you don't know..."  (John Michael Montgomery tune)

"When you get the choice to sit it out or dance...(I hope you) dance!"  (Lee Ann Womack tune)

I used to work as a radio DJ years ago - back in the day when there were hardly any women on the air.

Lately I have been living an impoverished existence financially, but relying on spiritual treasures to gain insight from circumstances and stay grounded in spite of trials.  Looking for my place(s) to fit, be of use/service.  Feeling marginalized at times.  I have had chronic pain/fatigue since 1990 - fibromyalgia,  C3 injury in 1989 (freak car accident).  Dealing with emotional and other issues since sexual assault/humiliations in the 70s/80s and absent/disappeared father during part of my childhood. 

Seems that survival issues are taking precedence over deeper/higher things?  This bothers me.  Not getting any younger and I am not sure if any of the things I feel are unfulfilled/unresolved will ever be or make sense.  I get the feeling I have to make certain things priorities or they will get pushed to the side by day to day operations of sorts.  How to do this though is a puzzle.  Sometimes it feels like hanging on to a board in raging flood waters trying to stay afloat while chaos ensues all around with folks on higher ground in houses waving at me, wishing me well (?) as I careen about in the deep.  They seem to be happy that I am hurting/in trouble.  Can this be?  Apathy?  Malice?  Say it isn't so.  This is more serious than I thought.  I thought I was the one in trouble, but I am just stuck in this sea of motion.  Seems they are stuck in the ghastly muck of compassion deficit.

Found out my IQ tests high even though the discombobulated situation I find myself in doesn't lend itself to that being obvious.  Also, this contributes to marginalization even though it is considered a gift since the majority of folks aren't in this 'brainy club' and some sense some kind of difference in me and seem to resent it or think I am trying to be "Miss Know It All" or something like that when I am just trying to be myself.  Not sure whether it is more of a burden or a blessing at this point.  Finding 'like minded' folks is tough.  Figuring out how to use what I have for good is complicated, too, it seems.  Less than ideal education doesn't help.  I sometimes think being an older single female complicates this even more.  The physical pain I have doesn't show either.  I guess I'm more than meets the eye in some ways.  I get misjudged frequently.  Maybe someday my true colors will shine bright enough and folks will see the real me and have no doubts.  Right now I feel like I am in some kind of holding pattern of sorts/in some ways.  Am I on a plane with a parachute on my back?  Is the door open?  Am I supposed to jump?  Tandem?  Was I supposed to get some instruction before coming up here?  Geronimo? 

Sometimes I think about playing Texas Hold 'Em for a living.  Winning a big lotto jackpot would do, too, of course.  Finding some funds to "work" with.