So to continue where I left off, I was so caught up in my addiction that I hit rock bottom. I was waling the streets doing things I always said I would not do and there I was degrading myself and for what, to to have a snake bite enter my veins. So I did something I never wanted to do which is get on Methadone. People always said it was harder to get off of the Methadone then the drugs. So I was going to a Methadone clinic and slowly I stopped using drugs.I was going to NA meetings several  imes a week, I cleaned up and got my girls back and lived at my fathers house for about a year and a half. Then he built a house for us a few blocks from where he lives and we moved to our new home and we were happy, I was finally being a mother to my girls. I did not want to be on Methadone for ever so slowly the Doc started tapering me off and  at that time I also slowly but surely stopped going to NA meetings and I never even got started on working the 12 step program. Three weeks after being completly off the Methadone I relapsed  I then got back on the medicine but kept using. Even though my girls did not see me do drugs I know that they knew and it broke my heart but I could not stop and that broke me even more. My ex- husband took my girls for summer vacation and when they left I felt like they were not coming back, I felt so scared and sad and I saw my old life flash before my eyes when Iwas out in the street degrading myself and it was like I was reminded that it was not the life I wanted. I felt like I had hit bottom again and I stopped using I now have 27 days clean. My girls are coming home first week of August and I could not be happier. If anybody is reading this and you have a loved one with the disease of addiction, from experience I can say that lots of love and support can be very helpful, don't give up on them. Till next time friends..