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"The (NIH) says mental illness is a chemical imbalance, and because of that it's a sickness and not something ... that anyone seeks or wants or deserves to get any more than he seeks, wants, or deserves to get a cold.  But deep down, we really don't want to admit that's true.  Because if we did, we would have to admit, IT COULD HAPPEN TO US.  IT COULD HAPPEN TO ME. ... And that is such a frightening thought that we quietly search for explanations to prove that the mentally ill aren't really like us and they somehow deserve the torment they suffer."

-- author Pete Earley, father of a son with bipolar disorder, in the book "Crazy"

For those who don't know me, I'm Larry, a.k.a. "Doxieman" after my adorable miniature dachshund Schumacher (named after the German racing champion Michael).

My blog, my other activities on Beliefnet, and my volunteer work IRL in the New York/New Jersey area (though I'm now back to work full-time in the non-profit field) have given me the reputation of a "depression activist."  I know the label is a compliment, but I prefer to think I'm just someone who's realized after a long time that there are so many other people in my boat who I can give my support and tell my experiences to -- even if I'm not always 100% myself.  ("Just like Pagliacci did, I try to keep my sadness hid" -- Smokey Robinson, "The Tears of a Clown" -- though actually, no, I don't think we have to hide from the world)

As for my background ... I'm a Jesuit-educated ex-altar boy who was seduced (in a good way) by Catholic ritual and then spiritually crushed as the true implications of Vatican doctrine for a healthy, normal, heterosexual who doesn't want kids became apparent.  I have a palpable irony detector, so my personality often comes out like Ralph Waldo Emerson or Walt Whitman, embracing instead of rejecting the contradictions in my life.  Likewise, my sense of humor is that of the sardonic Will Rogers, except when I get prickly and it comes out more like the acidly sarcastic Don Rickles ...

As for my personal beliefs today ... to cite movies, the Bible, and music: Kevin Spacey's closing monologue in "American Beauty' and Kevin Costner's Profession of Faith from "Bull Durham" are appealing (LOL); my life over the 10 years has echoes of the Book of Job (or, from the New Testament, 2 Corinthians 12) -- how do you survive the nearly unsurvivable?; and (besides "Tears of a Clown") Elvis' last wails in "If I Can Dream" and especially the last stanza of "The Impossible Dream" literally make me tear up.  Life is, after all, the ultimate quest.  So all these struggles leave me, like Jacob in Genesis 32, constantly wrestling with G-d. 

In addition to the social networking groups you see below, you can find me on the J-Walking and especially Beyond Blue (though no longer Crunchy Con) blogs.  I have so much to be grateful to Beliefnet for -- I have met so many wonderful people, especially my gorgeous, amazing, kind, intuitive, empathetic, sexy girlfriend, whom I never would have known without this site.   She is very, very special to me, which I don't say lightly, being a divorcee (she is too, alas).  But of course we are planning a future together -- she shares my love of Motown!

A note on friendship requests -- keep them coming, thank you so much!  But I'd like to know at least your first name IRL, as I've disclosed above myself.  I'd rather say "Hi John or Jane Doe!" than "Hi Crocodile2525!" (or whatever) to you as we greet each other. 

PS -- If you would like to know more about me, Therese Borchard (another friend who has helped me so much through Bnet) has published a biographical interview of me at http://blog.beliefnet.com/beyondblue/2007/11/larry-parker-how-do-you-move-b.html

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  Earning Middle America's revulsion - September 7, 2008 at 3:08 AM

  A couple of readers have sent me this column from Nick Cohen, writing in the Observer (UK). Here's the key passage: Democrats had only to maintain their composure and the White House would be...
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