I joined the community to share my story and hear others share theirs. In the last 10 years I have lost so many loved ones. Death has been the hardest thing for me to endure. I have really lost my belief in my own prayers, as it seems everything I pray for, turns out exactly opposite of what I was hoping for!
My oldest brother, Rob, was killed on March 28, 1999 while riding his Harley. There was no way for him to get away from the car that crossed the solid yellow line and hit him head on. I never saw him again.
My middle son, Devon, (I have been blessed with 3 sons), died on July 26, 2003 at the age of 19. Three months before his 20th birthday and a year after he graduated high school. He fell asleep at the wheel and died of multiple blunt force trauma. I never saw him again.
My best friend of over 20 years, Chris, died on Dec. 18th,2005. She was 49 and died of liver and kidney disease. I did get to see her on her deathbed and got to say I love you and goodbye.
I miss them all each and everyday, and yes, especially my son! I prayed for him and all my family to be kept safe and whole only hours before I was told he was dead.
I know he is in the safest place there will ever be, but missing him and wanting him back is a constant.
If anyone can share with me on how to believe in the power of prayer, I could sure use the help! I have begun to think that I am a jinx and am half afraid to pray for anything of great importance. Does anyone feel this way?