Hello New here. I have bipolar disorder and recently completed 19 ECT treatments. I am trying to heal physically/emotionally/spiritually from this experience. If anyone has had ECT, I'd be interested in hearing about how you recovered. It seems to have put my depression into remission, but now I have severe anxiety. I am working with meditation and meds to deal with it. In spite of the struggle, I have to believe I'm getting better and better.

Hello all! New to the group and new to beliefnet. I live with bipolar depression, as do my two adult sons. I'm managing and functioning at a fairly respectable level. One of my sons (my youngest) is currently incarcerated for addictions and mental health issues. The other (my oldest) functions fairly well, has a wife and a good job, but fails to recognize (admit?) how bipolar is affecting his life. I live in the foothills of Massachusetts, along the Mohawk Trail. I look forward to being part of this group.

Hi. I'm 39. I've been in counseling on and off for 20 years. My backstory is emotional/mental/physical/sexual abuse from my mother and three of her female friends. She died of Cancer. My father never acknowledged the events. He moved on and embraced his new wife and family. His take on life is "why spend time on anything that isn't based in happiness". I agree but still feel weak and fraigle. I have crafted a way to balance the internal destruction while creating a life that I want. I have a successful career. I've navigated a positive-ended divorce with relatively balanced kids. I am super active physically. I have international gold medals for martial arts. blah blah.. I keep after my goals. After 2 years wrestling with my divorce I'm in a relationship with a partner that fits perfectly. However my internal dialog and feelings, anxiety and lack of self-worth leaves me lost a lot of the time. My partner could be fresh from laying in bed with me and my heart aches because I feel she is too beautiful and I am one tick away from losing her. I lose sight of all the wonderful things we represent to each other and am left with this aching sense of despair and just around the corner it will all be over. I know that this is just one iteration of anxiety and loss but it is increasingly crippling. I start crying at work. Thankfully I'm in an editing room with no windows and I can keep working. But that leads to my dual internal roles. I can be horribly sad, frantic, feeling death and worthless inside but then interviewing fortune 5 CEOs. I know my kids (3) love me. I am very engaged with them, their sports, their school & friends. I keep everything inside when I start to slip. When I describe the need to climb up on someone else's shoulders and let them carry me for awhile I can't stop crying. I try and relax and just live. I have the most beautiful woman that loves me. My children are thriving. My career is getting better and better. I still feel worthless and look at her eyes and feel she is one breath away from discarding me. Her love/acceptance seems to overshadow everything else. Which seems to be elementary in attachment because she represents home and security in what I've always longed for. She and I have talked about these feelings and she understands. But sometimes I don't know how to articulate that "it" is happening and I am slipping and drowning and afraid I can't make it back up.

Hello everybody. I am new here, but not new to depression. I battle with it often. I recently got out of the hospital.. I was in there for a week for mental health issues. I am on all sorts of medications and see a therapist and am a member of some diff groups in my area. I will be starting DBT therapy pretty soon. I would love to befriend some new people and be support people for eachother!