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Wednesday, August 12, 2015, 2:19 PM
A hymn I grew up with--one I seldom hear anymore--was titled "Higher Ground."
In the chorus of the hymn, we sang these words:
"Lord, lift me up and let me stand, by faith, on heaven's tableland,
A higher plane than I have found, Lord plant my feet on higher ground."
What is a tableland? A tableland is a plateau, a mesa, or an elevated flat ground. Often sheep would graze on tableland.
What is heaven's tableland?
Many commentators have said it is the afterlife, when we all live in the heavenly kingdom of God's goodness. Not so fast. Heaven's tableland is not for the future; it is for now. It is for us to live on now.
We won't need faith in heaven. It is only in this world that we need faith. Note carefully what the hymn writer wrote:
"Lord, lift me up and let me stand, by faith, on heaven's tableland."
In this world, we need faith. We need heaven's tableland. What is this tableland, and how do we get there? How do we stay there?
We can't get there on our own. We need God to lift us to the place and purpose He has for us. That lifting event is called salvation. We're reborn and made ready to live a life worth living when we accept God's direction for our lives and His assessmentof who we are. His judgments are always correct.
His purpose and place are always higher and better than what we could or would choose for ourselves. Our knowledge is limited, we are influenced by those around us, and we are sometimes disoriented and confused when things happen that are beyond our comprehension. Only God can lift us above all of the limitations, the influences that don't help us, and the confusion that disrupts us.
Where will He lift us? He will lift us to heaven's tableland. Heaven's tableland is special, because not only are we living on an elevated plane, but also because we are living in a place uniquely prepared for us, created to answer our needs and develop and expand our gifts to serve God and to serve others. Heaven's tableland is a place where we will find joy in being just who are are--dearly loved and carefully crafted creatures of a good God who wants to communicate with us and connect with us in meaningful ways--now and forever.
Heaven's tableland is not a physical place. It is an emotional-mental-spiritual place. You may never leave the town or city where you were born. Or, you may travel the world while you are young. You may acquire every thing you have wanted, or you may never own a bigger house or move to the city or move to the country. You can still live on heaven's tableland.
The traditional shepherd would walk through the tableland before he brought the sheep to that location. He would clear the noxious weeds and dig ponds for drinking. He made sure the soil would support grasses and clover the sheep could eat. He made the space ready for the sheep to enjoy and to be fed from before he would allow them to graze in that area.
That is heaven's tableland.
Allow God to clear away all of the things and people keeping you from living a real life. Be willing to live in the place God has prepared for you--here and now. God has already gone ahead of you, and has prepared a life and a place for you. If you allow God to lift you to that place--a place you could never find on your own--you will find everything you need for joy and for purpose. If you allow God to "plant" you there--secure you, protect you, and direct you--the goodness doesn't have to end.
From the hymn, Higher Ground (words by Johnson Oatman, Jr., music by Charles H. Gabriel)
"My heart has no desire to stay where doubts arise and fears dismay.
Though some may dwell where these abound, my prayer, my aim, is higher ground.
I want to scale the utmost height, and catch a gleam of glory bright.
But still I'll pray 'till heaven I've found, Lord lead me on to higher ground."
(c) 2015 Deborah Evans
Wednesday, July 15, 2015, 4:04 PM
This is not a name we generally associate with mercy.
In Genesis 18:23-33, one reads a conversation between Abraham and God. God decides to share with Abraham the divine plan to destroy the city of Sodom because extreme wickedness has been attributed to the inhabitants of that place. In response, Abraham wonders aloud if God would destroy the good and honest people who just happen to live in Sodom. In the conversation, Abraham asks the question: "Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?"
As the conversation progresses, God tells Abraham if fifty righteous people can be found in Sodom, the city will not be destroyed. Abraham, knowing his nephew Lot lives there, bargains God down to ten.
That was an expression of God's mercy.
In other words, if ten righteous people could be found in the city (historians estimate the population of the city was between 600 and 1200), God would not destroy it. For the sake of ten righteous people, God would allow at least several hundred unrighteous to continue on.
That is the height of mercy. That is a massive expression of love for the righteous and tolerance for the unrighteous.
As many of us who are familiar with the story know, when angelic visitors arrive at Sodom to evaluate the situation, a series of events unfold:
1) Lot convinces the visitors to spend the night at his home. Originally, the visitors planned to spend the night in the town square. Visitors spending the night in a town square was a common practice at that time.
2) A mob (all of the men of the city, says the text in Genesis 19:4) gathers outside of Lot's house, demanding Lot bring out the men for sex.
3) Lot refuses, offering his virgin daughters to the crowd as sex substitutes in place of the angelic male visitors.
4) The mob, enraged by Lot's offer, attempts to enter Lot's house by force.
5) The visitors securely return Lot to the inside of his house and strike the mob with blindness. Lot is warned the city will be destroyed.
Lot then attempts to warn the young men engaged to his daughters that the city will be destroyed by God, and they must soon make their escape. The young men refuse to come with him. The text states they thought he was joking. Genesis 19:14: "So Lot went out and said to his sons-in-law, who were to marry his daughters, 'Up! Get out of this place, for the LORD is about to destroy the city'. But he seemed to his sons-in-law to be joking."
By dawn, the visitors were urging Lot to get out of town. It is possible Lot was completely disoriented by the events of the previous twelve hours.
In verses 15 and 16 of Chapter 19 of Genesis: "As morning dawned, the angels urged Lot, saying 'Up! Take your wife and your two daughters who are here, lest you be swept away in the punishment of the city'. But he lingered. So the men seized him and his wife and his two daughters by the
hand, the LORD being merciful to him, and they brought him out and set him outside the city."
Another expression of mercy.
Lot was warned to escape to the hills. In response to this, Lot complains he can't get that far, and asks if he could instead escape to a smaller, nearby city. The angelic visitor responded "...Behold, I grant you this favor also, that I will not overthrow the city of which you have spoken. Escape there
quickly, for I can do nothing till you arrive there." (Genesis 19: 21 and 22).
Another expression of mercy.
Lot finally makes it to the small city of Zoar as the destruction of Sodom is underway. Lot's wife ("behind him" says the text in Genesis 19:26), looked back at Sodom and became a pillar of salt. She was destroyed, having met the same fate as those who physically remained in the city.
Some have said the destruction of Sodom wasn't very merciful, but was a picture of the actions of an angry, unloving God.
I suppose one could read it that way. Still, I am mindful that ten righteous people could not be found in a city of several hundred or a thousand. I am mindful that even the few who escaped had to be dragged away (did not go willingly or quickly) and one of them (Lot's wife) stayed so far behind (physically or emotionally)that she was consumed in the destruction she turned back to witness.
Finally, I believe God showed much more mercy than many of us have shown to those who act wickedly. Do you doubt this? Read the comments section of any major news source when a horrendous crime is committed. There you will find no shortage of cries to "hang them", "fry them", and other suggested punishments I won't recite.
Actually, God shows much more mercy than we show to those who have done the wrong thing.
It did not end well for Lot. Read the rest of chapter 19 of Genesis. After the escape from Sodom, Lot fell into drunkenness and incest with his two daughters. Sodom left its stain on them, even though they escaped physically. Those who remained behind were destroyed. But in each case,
destruction was a result of the choices made by those who could have chosen good over evil.
Mercy was offered, even at the gates of Sodom.
From 2 Samuel 22:26-28:
"With the merciful you show yourself merciful;
with the blameless man you show yourself blameless;
with the purified you deal purely,
and with the crooked you make yourself seem tortuous.
You save a humble people, but your eyes are on the the haughty
to bring them down."
Scripture quotations are from the ESV (English Standard Version), Kindle edition.
(c) Deborah Evans 2015
Wednesday, July 15, 2015, 4:01 PM
I've noticed increasingly strident and even angry blog posts and opinion pieces recently regarding the question of what the true church can or should do in days of apostasy. For some reason, many seem to believe we are in a time of extreme apostasy. I am not certain this is true, but once again the topic has arisen. Here are some thoughts on the subject.
First, it is important to remember the church has always been challenged by apostasy (false teaching by those who have turned away from the true gospel they once professed). There is no time in church history when the church has not faced apostasy and apostates.
This is not a 21st or even 20th century phenomenon. As you read through the New Testament,you will find the apostles Paul and Peter warning the early church about the false teaching of apostates. The entire Book of Jude in the New Testament is a warning against apostates and includes teaching on how to live truthfully in the middle of apostasy.
In Revelation chapter two, Jesus speaks to the Ephesian church through a messenger, or angel, and gives the church encouragement and correction. Interestingly, Jesus commends the church for hating the practices of the "Nicolaitans", which Jesus states he also hates. It is noteworthy that Jesus did not tell the true believers in Ephesus to break away from the church because of the Nicolaitans and start another church.
It is also noteworthy that Jesus did not say he hated the Nicolaitans. He hated their practices. Surely, Jesus could have directed the true believers in Ephesus to create another, "cleaner", church or assembly. He did not. Perhaps he knew the apostates would move over to that "cleaner" assembly and install themselves there. Perhaps he knew requiring someone to sign a statement of faith or complete a series of classes would not constitute a barrier for the false teachers of apostasy.
Apostates are those who once professed the true gospel, but turned away from it or rejected it. If someone never professed to believe the true gospel, they cannot be an apostate. Apostates and unbelievers are not the same. There have always been days of unbelief and there have always been days of apostasy.
Remember the parable of the wheat and the tares (the weeds) in Matthew chapter 13? Read it here
Only God will do the true separating at the end of the age.
Until then, we all need a public place to worship, serve the spiritually needy, and fellowship with true believers. Retreating to a private, home assembly where everyone agrees on everything may be a "feel good" experience for those of us in North America and certain other parts of the world, but are the doors of your home open to anyone who wants to come in and see what the church is?
I know and understand there are Christians in many countries who are alone in the faith, or must worship in secret. My prayers are with you daily. I am not writing about those who have a need for secret worship or are alone because they live in an environment hostile to the Christian faith.
I am writing of those who want to go home and stay there because their denomination or church board voted for a certain change or passed a new policy. There is no perfect preaching or teaching. There is a God who can use the witness of the true church to reach those who seek him. Those who know, love, and seek God will be kept safely in the truth and love of God.
Perhaps there is a good reason why scholars cannot agree (definitively) on the teachings of the Nicolaitans, that group whose practices were hated by Jesus. Some say it was gnosticism. Some say it was the elevation or dominating acts of those who thought of themselves as priests who had the right to control the church. Others say it was a compromising acceptance of occult practices. Does it really matter for us today?
There have been "Nicolaitans" in every age.
In every age, there have also been believers who stood for truth, witnessed publicly and authentically to the power and goodness of the gospel, and continued to build a church for those who would follow them. No doubt, those true believers were wearied and at times antagonized and frustrated by false teachers, the damage created by false teaching, and the endless struggles that may have defined their church experiences.
What they did not do, however, is give up and abandon the church. The true believers kept themselves in God's love, continued to pray, witness, teach, and serve in and through the church. They were a voice of prophetic witness to those who might listen and turn back to truth. Without these believers, the church would have no meaningful earthly presence. Everyone can't go home, close their doors, and sing "Amazing Grace" while watching television evangelists preach on Sunday morning.
What should the true church do in days of apostasy? The answer is in the single chapter that makes up the Book of Jude, in verses 20 and 21:
"But you beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. And have mercy on those who doubt; save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh." (English Standard Version)
All of these things require us to come out into the open, create an imperfect public place, and be with others who are not just like us.
The fully expressed kingdom of Heaven is the place where worship and fellowship will be perfect and unstained by any falsehood. We're not there yet. We won't be there until Jesus returns and begins to close out this age. That may happen next week, or it may not happen for a thousand years. When it happens should make no different in how we live each day. In the meantime, we are called to build the church, confident in Jesus' promise that the gates of Hell will not prevail against it.
Jude finishes his letter( verses 24 and 25) by assuring us of success:
"Now unto him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen."
(c) Deborah Evans 2015
Saturday, June 20, 2015, 12:09 PM
Like many, I watched video of family members of the Charleston Nine (Emanuel AME Church members murdered in a mass shooting at the church this week) express forgiveness to the confessed shooter during a court hearing.
It has been suggested it is too soon to forgive. What does that mean? Why does it matter?
It is never too soon to affirm the intention to forgive. That's where forgiveness begins--with intent. From intent, we may move to the deep, emotional freedom that comes with true forgiveness. That true forgiveness frees us from the poison of an offender's words or actions. That's why Jesus taught his disciples to forgive. It all begins with intent.
When I watched a sobbing woman lament the loss of a loved one in open court and heard her broken voice proclaim forgiveness, I knew I was watching a true disciple of Jesus Christ.
This woman was not proclaiming damnation for the mass murder. No words were spoken about God's vengeance and hate, or Hell and suffering. This woman was following the example of her Lord, who spoke forgiveness while suffering a torturous death on a cross. This woman was speaking the words her loved ones, now worshiping with the Church Triumphant, would want her to speak. Through her tears, she was affirming the power of hate would not dominate or claim her goodness and take it away. She was affirming an eternal truth: the acts of the spirit are greater than the acts of the flesh.
All of this matters because what is said now will determine how well the survivors heal, continue their lives, and honor the memory and legacy of those who are gone from our view.
It all begins when forgiveness is spoken. Forgiveness does not minimize or rationalize away or excuse the horror and injustice of what was done. Forgiveness does not mean anyone should have warm, fuzzy feelings for the shooter.
Forgiveness means the survivors have taken their power and decided to reclaim their true selves from the pain and injury of what was done. Forgiveness means they begin to cancel the power of hate. It all begins with intent. It is not something any of us naturally do. The power to forgive is a gift from God.
(c) 2015 Deborah Evans
From Paravanes: Meditations
Tuesday, June 2, 2015, 4:44 PM
In my Facebook feed, a news article about the closing of a large, nationally significant Catholic church building in a downtown central business district drew some noteworthy comments.
One commenter lamented the "loss" of a beautiful building, stating members of "his church" relocated to suburban areas two decades ago. He went on to suggest Baptists or Lutherans --traditions of quite different origins and worship styles--would soon take over "his" old building.
Another commenter wrote of the irony of the Archdiocesan Office shuttering the sanctuary, but leaving open the attached Senior Center which serves nearly 2,000 people per week, offering food assistance and a safe place to meet for socializing and fellowship. Was the Senior Center's work of placemaking and feeding the hungry more meaningful than the activities and rituals held on Saturday evenings and Sunday mornings in the sanctuary?
Jesus said "For where two or three come together--are present, assemble, or gather in my name--there I am with them." (Matthew 18:21).
This is an powerful statement, and is proceeded by something many of us have found difficult to express or demonstrate in our experience of church worship and life: "Again, I tell you that if two of you on Earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven."(Matthew 18:20).
Has this been your personal experience?
In this passage, Jesus told his followers if two of them agreed about anything they asked for, the Father would do it. Why? He answers the "why?" in the next verse: because when two or three have gathered in his name--in his purpose, viewpoint, style, and method--he is there with them. There is, in that place, an unbroken fellowship and presence of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit (living and abiding in the believers gathered).
If this is true--and if Jesus says something, that "something" is always true--what has happened to the gatherings of the church? Why has the church experienced so much division, apostasy, and loss of direction?
Many attending church stopped gathering "in his name." Some never gathered in his name, not ever.
Some are gathered in the name of a preacher or a teacher. Some are gathered in the name of a denomination, a philosophy, or a tradition. Some are gathered in the name of political conservatism or political liberalism. Some are gathered in the name of prosperity or human riches. Some are gathered in the names of pipe organ music and architectural splendor.
Some are gathered in the name of "fixing the world", or "social justice", or "peace." Some are gathered in the name of finding a husband or wife, or obtaining a denominational scholarship or summer campership for a child or grandchild. Some are gathered in the name of free child care for two hours on Sunday morning while Mom and Dad sneak away from church to enjoy a quiet breakfast at a nearby restaurant.
Some are gathered in the name of social status or business and career connections. Many years ago, I visited a local megachurch where the pastor warned (from the pulpit) those in attendance--members and visitors-- against using the church as a prospecting ground for selling Mary Kay Cosmetics and other "business opportunities." He said the situation had gotten out of hand and had to be publicly addressed.
When the church--the called out body of believers in Jesus Christ--gathers, the building doesn't matter. If that body is together for Jesus' purposes, that body will have whatever they agree on if they ask for it.
When you step into church next Sunday, ask yourself: why am I really here?
What do I expect as a result of having been here?
How will I know my time here has been well spent?
If I stopped coming here, how would my life change?
What would I miss most if this church building closed?
Ask yourself: am I really here "in his name?"
Saturday, May 9, 2015, 12:07 PM
National Association of Non Custodial Moms: www.facebook.com/NANCM.org
Parental Alienation Awareness Organization: paawareness.org/
Have you heard of these groups? When you learn a woman does not have custody of her child, do you assume she is an addict of some type, or mentally ill, or morally unfit to raise her child or children?
If you make these assumptions, you are wrong.
Many noncustodial moms lost a legal battle with a well funded or abusive ex husband or ex partner. Perhaps this mother trusted someone who promised to take care of her child during a crisis, but that someone was simply creating a pretext for taking custody of that child. Perhaps this mother fled an abusive situation (taking her children with her) and was unable to finance the legal battle to maintain custody.
Yes, there are some women who are not ready or willing to raise their children. But, there are many who were not able to prevail in a court system that favors the well connected and well funded. Mother's Day is always a challenge for these women.
Perhaps you have custody (full or part) of your child, but you have been a victim of parental alienation. I have written about parental alienation elsewhere on this blog: watch out for the unexpected alienator, how to reunite after parental alienation, when to give up the legal battle in court . You have your child with you, or have access to them on a regular basis, but you are struggling with negative brainwashing that has been imposed on your child. You and your child once had a close, loving relationship. Now, that child disrespects you, doesn't appreciate you, destroys your property, and says they hate you or wish you were dead.
There is no rational basis for your child's beliefs, but the beliefs are deeply held. Your child insists these are their own thoughts, that he or she was not programmed or brainwashed by anyone.
What happens on Mother's Day when this is your story? What can you do when your children are not physically or emotionally with you?
Allow yourself to choose how you spend the day. Don't mask your grief by accepting dinner invitations or invitations from friends who insist you should not be alone. Perhaps you would prefer to spend the day alone looking at old photo albums, watching a movie you once happily shared with your children, or cooking a favorite meal all of you once enjoyed together. Allow yourself these pleasures if they make you happy. If you truly don't want to be alone, accept invitations from people who will enjoy your company and not judge you or try to preach to you.
Celebrate your own mother if you had a good relationship with her. Let this day be a day you remember, recall, and celebrate your own mother or grandmother if you had a good relationship with her. This could involve anything from visiting church, strolling in the park, planting flowers, taking a drive to a special place, or sleeping late and giving yourself a mani-pedi. If your mother is still living and you can enjoy your time with her, plan a visit or phone call or Skpye connect time.
Gather friends and recreate the meaning of the day. Give yourself permission to get together with friends and do something totally unconnected to the meaning of Mother's Day. It can be a challenge to go out and have fun on Mother's Day when you are surrounded by seemingly happy families of moms, dads, and kids. See what's going on in your local area--check newspapers or local event websites-- and find something that will affirm your goodness and bring joy and happiness to the surface of your life. If you have no one to share the day with, your local public library or a nearby museum is a place you can visit on your own and still be in the presence of others. Stroll the galleries or read a stack of magazines or a good book. Spend a few hours enjoying yourself.
Because this is a blog about faith, I will add that if you have a faith tradition, see what it says to you on this day.
If you are feeling beaten down by the judgments of others, remember no one has the right to judge unless they know all of the facts. There is One Who Does. Do not leave this day without connecting with God in a special way.
Free yourself from the negative judgments of others and seek to live only under the judgment of God. Remember you are beloved of God not because of what you accomplish, but because you are a creation of God. You are a spiritual being who will live somewhere forever. Temporary judgments are not final rulings. Allow your challenge to become your triumph. You are never beyond the reach of God's love, and neither are your children. Be who you need to be in this time. Seek help and accept it when it is genuinely offered. Get enough rest. Find two or three things that bring joy to you and hold on to them. Finally, understand that others do what they do because of who they are. You can only change yourself. You cannot change others.
Have a happy day. Know that your mothering was not in vain, nor could it have been in vain. Keep the eternal viewpoint. Live well and be blessed.
(c) 2015 Deborah Evans
Friday, April 17, 2015, 1:55 PM
Scripture tells us very little about what happened with Jesus and his disciples between the time of the Resurrection and the Ascension. He appeared to them, and to many others, after his return from the dead. For the disciples, he breathed the power of the Holy Spirit onto them and into them. He gave them a life altering commission, or charge, and then returned to the heavenly realm. He was not absent, but he was out of physical view.
As Charles Wesley put it in his hymn, Rejoice the Lord is King: "When He had purged our stains, He took His seat above." This doesn't mean Jesus sat back and watched history unfold with caring or participating. This means he returned to the heavenly realm of honor he had before coming to Earth. Jesus always cares. If you invite him, he always participates.
Based on the accomplishments of the disciples after the Ascension, we can imagine a few things that must have happened for Jesus' followers. We can learn from their experiences, and find new paths for ourselves after our hearts have been broken by life's events.
The disciples had to rethink what was real and possible. No one, before or after, has ever returned from death to live on Earth. Jesus did. That first Holy Week had been a real roller coaster ride for them. After they saw Jesus was alive---physically, in his body---they had to accept many new possibilities for what life could mean. They were then ready to accept the Great Commission. They saw their leader was more than they had ever imagined or originally believed. When Jesus heals your broken heart, he will show you possibilities and a future beyond what you imagined in your past.
The disciples had to accept new and different responsibilities. During his ministry on Earth, the disciples expected Jesus to remove Roman power, restore the Davidic kingdom, and bring prosperity. They also expected to help him carry out that mission. It didn't quite turn out that way. Jesus gave them a new purpose and direction. The disciples carried it out very effectively. But it wasn't what they'd originally planned. They were willing to change. Ironically, the change Christianity brought to the ancient world did eventually bring down the Roman Empire, but it happened one person at a time.
Much of what God does is done one person at a time. He heals broken hearts one at a time.
The disciples found a worthy purpose: to spread a message of personal salvation+freedom from sin (sin = whatever makes us less than what God created us to be), a message of goodness defined as holiness-happiness-purpose. They found a purpose worth living for and dying for. If we have a purpose worth dying for, we must choose to live for that purpose. If we do not have a purpose worth dying for, it is time to find a new purpose. The difficulties the disciples faced were nothing compared to the eternal value of what they did. Tradition says most of them suffered a martyr's death. Have no doubt that where these disciples are now, they would not say God asked too much of them. They found a purpose to carry them past their pain. We can do that as well when we listen to God and follow him.
(c) 2015 Deborah Evans
Monday, February 23, 2015, 2:51 PM
Lord, the horrible deaths of the Egyptian Coptic martyrs trouble me.
But this I believe:
In a way unknown to those of us who are left behind, you comforted their minds, bodies, and spirits in those final moments.
Your revealed presence wiped fear and terror from their hearts.
As their spirits left their broken bodies, You joyfully and proudly welcomed them into your uninterruptible presence.
They now live in comfort, joy, and praise.
They have no regrets for their sacrifice.
Their pains are eternally forgotten.
Their testimony and witness will continue through endless ages, world without end.
Your precious children are never forgotten or abandoned, never absent from your care, never beyond the reach of your power.
Friday, January 2, 2015, 1:44 PM
Did you leave somethiing or someone behind in 2014?
Did something or someone leave you behind in 2014?
Release with love.
When you release with love, you no longer look back with frustration,
regret, or resentment. You no longer ask these questions: "why did they do that?", "what were they thinking?", or "how can I get even", or "God, how could you allow that?"
When you release with love, you no longer need explanations.
When you release with love, you accept others as you accept yourself: imperfect, but striving; flawed, but still seeking; wounded, but still alive and growing.
Perhaps this is what Jesus meant when He taught His followers to "turn the other cheek": release with love, go in a new direction, and trust Me to make it work out.
You can easily become the thing you fight. So do not fight unless you seek to become like your opponent. Instead of fighting: pray, plan, speak, and act.
Release with love.
(c) 2015 Deborah Evans
Monday, December 1, 2014, 8:41 PM
Recently, I viewed (for the second time) the D. Channsin Berry/Bill Duke documentary "Dark Girls." It was a painful view, but I felt compelled to watch and listen carefully because I could identify so deeply with much of what was said.
This message rang through the film: there is something ugly and unpleasant about being a "dark girl". This does not mean dark girls are ugly or unpleasant. Still, much of what is presented in this film shows how differently dark girls experience life. Generally speaking, these differences are not considered positive ones. I think there was much truth and painful honesty in this film, but a part of the story is missing.
Since Lupita Nyong'o won an Oscar, made a famous and well-documented speech, and appeared on several fashion magazine covers, I have listened and watched many women describe how triumphant Nyong'o's story is: she is the manifestation of dark beauty, her confidence and poise are enviable, her skill and preparation have won out over the color prejudices that dominate much of Hollywood. Many, many dark girls are cheering for Lupita.
No one says "I wished I looked like Lupita." I have yet to read or hear that comment.
It's hard to be different. Dark girls are a minority within a minority. We may have been the "original woman", but now we are often sidelined and rejected by those who gave birth to us, raised us, and shared our childhood homes. Society has labeled us as second class, and often we are not strong enough to resist and overcome that programming until we have lived much or most of our lives.
When I watched the film for the second time, I was able to see and absorb a lot of the spiritual pain expressed by the women interviewed. Most of these women were pretty, and some were very beautiful. A sadness lingered in the eyes of almost all of them, even those who stated they have grown into an appreciation and gratitude for their looks. The injury of rejection by family and friends--and society at large--did not fade away with increased awareness and personal growth. This pain seemed to be persistent across generations, classes, geography, and personality types.
Is there a remedy? I am always looking for a reason to hold hope close to my heart. Will dark girls have to wait for society to change before we can be happy, fulfilled, and joyful?
As I thought about the answer, I remembered the Bible verse that tells me: "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2, NIV)
My default position is to be conformed to the world, to see myself as others who appear powerful choose to define me, to live within those limitations, and to fear moving beyond them. My default position is to absorb what is sent my way, even if that message is destructive and limiting to me, even if that message causes me to dislike my appearance or even my very existence
When I move from conformity to transforming renewal, I am embracing the God who is powerful enough and loving enough to smile at me and say "you are beautiful because you have been created in my image." New thoughts and images appear in my mind. When I live in transforming renewal, I am able to "test and approve" God's good, pleasing, and perfect will. In my own experience, God has never failed a test. In transforming renewal, I am expecting and approving of God's ability to bring into my life those who will also smile at me with loving kindness and joy.
In transforming renewal, I release and forgive those unable to see me as whole and lovely, because their short-sightedness does not limit what God will do in my life.
In transforming renewal, I remember God's will is good, pleasing, and perfect for me, not just for God alone.
In transforming renewal, I begin every day smiling at myself in the mirror, happy with what I see, knowing that I am an intentional creation of God and not a result of random chance. I no longer wish God had made me someone else, or something else. I approve of God's choice to form me as I am. I trust and know God has prepared something good for all creatures He has made.
In transforming renewal, I expect more than what I can see today.
For dark girls, and for all people, gratitude for self begins by knowing and living the truth that we are intentionally made by God, for his joy---and ours---and we can live in the transforming renewal that changes us from objects of scorn to beautiful channels of grace. That's the truth.
(c) 2014 Deborah Evans