Question: Do adults not get splinters? Hmmmm.

In doing yard work or something recently, I got a splinter in my thumb. It’s not very big, nor is it terribly deep so I thought I could get it out on my own the old fashioned way. No luck. After trying unsuccessfully a few times to remove it, I decided I didn’t want to risk infection, so I let it be.   

Then I went on vacation. I wasn’t about to spend my vacation in a doctor’s office/hospital emergency room, though ... . 

At this point, the skin has grown back over the splinter. It’s not infected, but I can still feel it and it needs to be removed. So says, well, everyone I’ve spoken to.

So yesterday I went to the doctor. I figured he’d be able to remove it in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.

You probably know how this is going to go without my telling, but I will, all the same … .

I came in and explained what I needed and one front desk clerk said to the other, “Can you find out if we remove splinters here?”

What?! This is a doctor’s office and you don’t remove splinters?

It turned out that they can remove it, but not for several days. Why? According to the doctor who saw me, looking all “official” in her white lab coat, the area around the splinter is inflamed and it will have to be cut out with a scalpel.

The thing is, they don’t have the correct “tool” with which to remove it and they have to order the scalpel from a supplier. Goodness knows how long it will take to arrive … .  

For quicker service, the doctor suggested I try an urgent care office. One of the front desk clerks kindly called the local facility for me.

It didn’t instill much confidence in me when after saying that she was calling to refer a patient who needed a splinter removed there was a long pause and she said, “Do you know what a splinter is?”

In the end, it appears that to avoid a huge bill, I’ll be best off sitting tight and having the splinter removed – eventually – at the doctor’s office. 

Before I left the office to resume the waiting process, the sympathetic front desk clerk said to me, “You see, we don’t deal with children here. If you went to a family medicine practice, you could probably have it removed right away.” 

I see, because adults never get splinters.

Are you kidding?   

I have two words for that staff … . Tweezers, stat!