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    Willow or Rock? Reposting: Being somewhat new with Beliefnet I see that sometimes we lose other friends within the network that we never had the chance to chat with. This dear heart, bearing her soul, after finding test results of Cancer. We are here for a season, and our impact that we make on our surroundings, somehow seem short and insignificant, however in truth it is not so. A kind word, a word of encouragement, and tear shared of private things, and telling others of our fears and pains, somehow gives hope and courage to others that read and understand. God is truly good, and the impact we make around ourselves is significant and heartfelt. So while we have breath lets do all that is in our power to help those in need, then when we must surrender our lives into the hands of the Creator, knowing that He will not drop us carelessly, but will show the same compassions to us that we shared with others. Good night sister, but not good buy, just I will see you again...A distant admirer. danandsandycan Saturday, August 9, 2008, 10:29 AM CST [General] It comes down to change and how I decide to deal with it. Do I bend or do I stand? Maybe do both? I have a cancer called glioblastoma multiforme. It is a stage four cancer of the brain. I found out, was diagnosed, February of this year. I had an incredible headache that just wouldn't go away. When I went to the ER a CT found a mass that an MRI confirmed as two tumors. When they were removed they were malignant and of the type that will come back. There is no cure for GBM. One can only treat it, fight it and live with it until one finally cannot live any more. That may be months or years. So how to do that? Do I bend? Do I stand and fight? There is an inevitability here. I will not win. My life will be shorter than I want it to be. I want my life. That means fight. But how? I can't make GBM go away. Right now there is no cure. I have to live with it and that means bend. I can, with the help of my med team make the life I have more comfortable. That means stand. So it's a combination, isn't it? Cancer isn't something that comes from outside. It wells up within the body. It's a shock. Lots of things come from inside but somehow, to me, cancer feels like it's actively trying to kill me. It has all the ammunition and I have a pop gun. There is no early detection for GBM. It is a primary brain cancer- it develops in the brain, stays in the brain and kills the brain. It is implacable, won't stop coming for me and will overwhelm all my efforts. I hate that. I feel like I have no control here. Since I have no control, can't win, why fight? I want my life, that's why. I also want some grace and peace. People tell me to go on, live, don't think about cancer. I hear that the treatment worked and that I can relax until the next time. Don't think so. I don't dwell on this every bit of every day but this is part of my life now. There has to be accommodation. I think I have to bend to the changes that GBM brings, stop the progression where I can and live in the space between. I take such joy in the small things of my life. I love playing on line. I love my family, my pets, my friends. I love to watch the day slide by. I don't feel the need to be in frenetic activity. I don't feel the need to have my space filled with light, noise, sound and movement. Living can be a simple as a cup of coffee, a cat in my lap and watching the kids play in the yard. Life is resting too. I will do what I can. I will take my joy and try to share it. When the time comes I will bend and I will die. That is what everyone has to do. We don't get out of this world alive.

    Danandsandycan
    October 6, 2009
    10:25 AM
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    Broadcast: glow angel is out of commision for a little w Friday, September 10, 2009 Dragonfly, My friend, sorry I have been out of pocket. So to speak! Been in hospital, Had left knee redone. A New knee. Happens when you have a big fall on knees. Wad In Hospital a weekl, and then went into Nursing Home Thuripy 3 weeks. Im so happy by friends never forgot me. God is Great, Every Day., If you can pass this letter around. I wont be back for a fue days yet.. Legs have to get to working Better and not have so much pain, Pain. Thanke you My little Dragonfly. Love in Jesus >>Glowangel" we all love her !! Passing on to Comments section from Broadcast

    Danandsandycan
    September 25, 2009
    5:21 PM
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    Greetings it is great to hear from you..We are praying that God will supply you with the Energy needed to complete all your tasks for each day. He has promised that He is willing and able to supply all your needs with extra besides. As far as the point totals are concerned, and this is merely through my observations: {Points are added to your totals for entries made): Journals and photos are an example for these mentioned. I Haven't tested it, but I would expect that forum entires would also apply. The levels however, are a mystery to me. I went from a Level 10 to a level 5 overnight. I would suspect that it is do to what is available in Beliefnet's system, that has not been fully tested. It is kind of like reaching a decimal without the capacity to tabulate...Guessing?? I hope that you are feeling better, and the Holy Spirit's direction in all that you accomplish.. Sincerely..In Christ danandsandycan

    Danandsandycan
    September 21, 2009
    5:00 PM
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    Hi Dan, Sorry I haven't written lately, it seems like there just isn't enough time in one day to get enough done. I have to go real slow and do a little bit at the time. I get real tired so quickly now. Dan would you explain something to me please?What decides the LEVEL MEMBER YOU ARE? How do you earn POINTS? It's pretty hot here today, I'll be so glad when it cools down a little or the humity drops some. I have to stay in, or I'd pass out, out there in that heat, (Florida). Well Dan, I have to go, I haven't even read my email yet today,lol,lol. See 'ya later, Ruth

    Oofiegoofieroofie
    September 21, 2009
    3:44 PM
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    Hi Dan , and a good day with Jesus to you. Thanks for your comments on my Oil. I haven't done much oil work in over a year. But do want to get back to it. My John has been so ill. Between the Parkinsons and the Alzihamers , He is haveing a hard time. Has come down from 214 lbs. to 155 now. I am so worried. He is my Honey married over 58 years and went together 1 and 1/2 years God knows I love him so very much he is part of me. Please send up prayer for him. Thank You Alice Jacobs>>> Glowangel

    Glowangel
    August 29, 2009
    11:43 AM
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    Thanks for the smile. You are awesome. :-) Always, Debbie

    Dptrlx
    August 25, 2009
    1:24 PM
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    When I hear of the tragedies that some have gone through, testing their faith to the max, I learn that God's preparation for such events as the loss of a loved one is not always apparent. It requires a time of lessons and adjustments that will prove ourselves more than victorious if we will trust Him to complete the work within us. The tendency is to reflect on circumstances surrounding our situation, and the mistake of trying to change for our part how everything worked out..as if it were up to us to reverse circumstances that we have no control over. I truly believe that all of our growth comes from the ability to always look forward for our answers and not back! Because the healing process depends upon our recoupative strength to leave it in His Hands, then watching intently on how He will use us for the future! We have a purpose, He has a Plan for us, none of which is evident when we spend our time lost in our pain. God love you for all that He has for you...and our prayers are with you and for you...God's blessings......danandsandycan

    Danandsandycan
    August 18, 2009
    3:41 PM
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    Hi Dan, how have you been? I haven't had a chance to come back to Beliefnet for a few days. I added a Poem I wrote about Angels after my son was killed, in fact I wrote several. The one I wrote to my son is a little longer and I didn't feel up to typing all of it tonight. I put it in my Journal. I'm very very tired. For a change I haven't had in Months and months I actually feel better. They changed my meds for the Fibromyalgia and it must be working. the medicine I was on caused me to gain alittle over 20 pounds and it sure has depressed. Mainly because I had lost 80. I didn't even try, I was sick and just couldn't eat for almost 8 months. Once I lost it I had to buy all new clothes, now I can't wear any of them. So what have you been up to latly? your friend, Oofie goofie roofie, Ruth

    Oofiegoofieroofie
    August 18, 2009
    1:27 AM
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    Thank you DanandSandycan for all that you do. Your comments are always heartfelt. Thanks again. I hope you have a great, wonderful and blessed day! :-) Always, Debbie

    Dptrlx
    August 10, 2009
    8:39 PM
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    Dan and Sandy Thank You for the comment on my work . I have won lots of awards through the years and some best of show. It has been awhile sence I have worked with my oils. But I would like to get started again. Thank you. You asked me about how did I come up with Glowangel. Was because I have had so many experences and the 3 I saw in the Hospital had the golden Glow angel.And God Bless You Both Glowangel

    Glowangel
    August 9, 2009
    11:51 PM
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