Nothing is impossible with God. I should know. My life is a living testimony to others that with God, change is possible. I spent my entire life from age 16 to age 50 as a drug addict, criminal and lived outside the law. In and out of jails, prison and drug rehabilitation or treatment programs from age 18 to age 50, I knew no other way of life. But for the last couple years I spent in prison I had decided that I was tired of living that way. I loved drugs but I came to the conclusion that it was inevitable, if I used drugs, I went to prison. I had spent 10 flat years in Texas prisons and knew that if I continued useing drugs that I would return to prison once again. It was obvious by my track record. Every time I would get out, I would be back in within a year. Usually for parole violation. My last 6 mo. to year that I was still useing was the worst for me. I was physically free but life had become so awful for me that almost every day I would say to myself, " I wish I was dead." And, "I hate my life." And I meant that. I had met some people in the local county jail who were volunteer church people who would come hold bible studies and church at our jail. Along with the chaplain of the jail, they were all members of the same church here in town. I knew they had helped other people like me and as a result, those people had completely changed their lives. Maybe they could help me too. I went there and they did. They helped me like you can't imagine. If it weren't for that church and those people that God put in my life, it wouldn't have been possible for me to change. I needed a whole new beginning. They made it happen. Since that time, over 2 years ago, I have had my family restored to me. I now have a relationship with my father that I have never had before. So many things are different now for me. And I owe it all to God, and to my new family. My church family. But I have also found that if I don't stay actively involved in my church and in service work then it's easy for someone like me to drift back into old habits, old ways of thinking and soon, trouble isn't far behind. I have to stay connected to God. I have to stay close to the people God put there to help me start over in the first place. If I start isolating myself from them and from church, then I'm headed for trouble. I start making bad choices and bad choices lead to bad results. I'm in a spot right now where as a result of making bad choices, I'm suffering the results now. I have to pay for my mistake. I have to make another big decision now and I know what I should do but it's not what I want to do. I'm confused and scared and need direction and guidance so badly right now. That's why I'm on this page in this website, typing this right now.