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    Doubt my faith.

    Saturday, March 7, 2009, 11:58 AM [General]

    I'm lost in my thoughts of why i'm put on this earth, and what am I suppose to be doing.  I know God has a purpose for us all, and I know it is to do good or to help someone, but I just don't know what is mine.   Sometimes I feel like I know what it is then something happens, and it confuses me even more.  I've had so much loss either by death, or just loss of touch with someone, that it questions my faith a lot.  The last thing I want to do is doubt my faith, and yet I seem to doubt it a lot lately.  I try, and do everything that I feel i'm suppose to be doing, but I still have despair in my life, so what am I doing to bring this "bad luck" my way?  Some people go through life with no loss, and some like myself has had an abundance of loss.  People that i've loved dearly, and then just taken from my life with no explanation, why?  I know the saying "there is no gaurantees in life", and I believe that, but why do some of us have upsets thrown at us to "make us stronger", and others go through life with none.  I know i'm stronger from my experiences with lifes upsets, but when is it my time to get a break?  Does God really want to test my love or devotion to him like this?  Is this his way of testing my faith, and if it is, then why is testing me have to be so heartbreaking for me?  I need some perspective, and I need answers!

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