Fourteen years ago, I started down the path of spiritual and metaphysical enlightenment.  I dedicated my meager life to the improvement of others by transmorphing my aura into a interdimensional forceshield so as to protect the flowers of the field and the innocent children laughing aimlessly in the park and at play in the comfort of their own homes.

As I was about to expand coverage of this unique power to help resolve worldwide conflict, poverty and malnutrition, I got sidetracked by the most ass kickin field of alfalfa...