believe me beloved...i so want to believe that somewhere...there is someone bigger...stronger....more spiritually advanced than me....someone truly...honestly...those very things...i want to be able to exit...and know that truth exists on this plane of existence...that i am obsolete...this is a possible scenario...for i watch them as i teach and they exhibit a completely different modus operandi...yet...not completely off course...however somewhat skewed...i guess...spirit works in interesting ways...who am i to judge...all i know is that i love them...purely...and they me...my angels do their job for sure...i cannot fault them...they do what i say...yet still...i am tired....my spirit is less and less inspired to stay here...understand...i will do nothing to expedite my demise...and i castigate myself at my lack of desire to stay...yet...if a true and honorable soldier catches my eye...i will excuse myself...