I started reading this book by Dr. Eve A Wood called 10 Steps to Take Charge of your Emotional Life... I'd definitely recommend it to anyone suffering from depression, anxiety, bipolar, whatever. It's extremely insightful and even more so if you do the writing exercises involved inside. I personally have filled over 20 pages with these exercises.... and they really do help.

I finally traced what I might have besides depression, which comes up to either generalized anxiety disorder and/or post traumatic stress disorder... or all three. I need to talk to someone about that, though, and I'm in the process of finding a therapist or pysch to see if I need to end up on more medication or something. I really feel like I need something for anxiety, especially on the nights when I can't sleep because my brain won't shut up.

In the meantime I'm promising myself to run at least three times a week witha couple yoga sessions thrown in, plus meditation more often and writing whenever I feel something coming up....and deep breathing.

I'm tired of being over-emotional because I see what it's doing to my relationships.... people who really don't matter think I'm crazy... my fiance and I got into a fight for a bit because he doesn't think I am but I was exhausted so I kept saying I was.... and that was a whole cry fest for me ... my mom got a tad peeved because I kept her up worrying all night....  But it's not just that. It's the every day that's really getting me.... I'm tired of thinking too much and stressing too much and never being able to shut my brain off.

I keep thinking I want to be normal. Egh. Maybe some of these alternative things I'm throwing in will help, huh? They do for other people, so I'll give them a shot. Here's to hoping they'll help.  Not just for me, but for everyone around me, too.

- Steph