2 more day's

    Tuesday, July 29, 2008, 9:59 AM [General]

    i will be 37 in two day's holy devestation!! i can't believe it.. i will be entering 37 a NON smoker!!! Laughing what am i doing with my life? i am finding peace with in and learning how to release mental baggage and past pain, basicly anything that does not serve my higher good i am working on letting go. easier said than done for sure!! i feel like crying i need the beach371d36d75e05eda735858f8e467be99c
    0 (0 Ratings)

    22

    Tuesday, July 22, 2008, 9:03 AM [General]

    happy 22!! and,happy 22 day's ciggie free!! and happy day to everyone, may it be filled with love,light , truth and courage!!!!!!!!!371d36d75e05eda735858f8e467be99c
    0 (0 Ratings)

    17th day

    Thursday, July 17, 2008, 9:51 AM [General]

    woe nelly!! can you believe it, 17 day's minus ciggies, wahoo! i remember i quit once using wellbutrin and i was ciggie free for 4 months then, i went off that drug because i was off the cig's and then, one puff led to another and i was back smoking again. this time around i am doing this without any sort of aid except for allen carr and the people that have responded to my posts: THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT!!!!!!! i really really appreciate them!! there are moments when i'm like wtf?! just smoke, this is torturous and then i wonder, why am i thinking this is so awfull? i am doing something wonderfull for myself and then i'm okay. it's a trip and i'm tripping out...

     

     

    371d36d75e05eda735858f8e467be99c

     

    0 (0 Ratings)

    14 day's

    Tuesday, July 15, 2008, 6:09 AM [General]

    roar!!!!! 14 day's ciggie free!!!!!!! i'm really proud of myself for not giving in to the sabatourtress although it seems to be a wee bit more challenging as the day's go on. i have found myself being able to breathe deeply  and damn it feels good! i have been thinking that it's time to hang up my scissor's and try something new..i've been doing hair for 15 years, what else can i do? i'm not sure but i feel it in my gut that it's time to let it go and to venture forward...scary but not...oy, i need the beach and a hug today...371d36d75e05eda735858f8e467be99c
    0 (0 Ratings)

    13

    Sunday, July 13, 2008, 8:34 AM [General]

     13 day's ciggy free. i think my body is tripping out. i'm tripping out. i need the beach

    371d36d75e05eda735858f8e467be99c
    0 (0 Ratings)

    11 day's

    Friday, July 11, 2008, 8:28 AM [General]

    11 day's free of smoking!! i feel okay. the urge to smoke has been lurking but i have not and will not give in. it's creepy how i think that oh, it's been 10 day's, i know i can do it so let's have a ciggy, and before you know it,there's a ciggy in me mouth and i'm pissed at myself...not happening this time...is it weird that i am sad that i am no longer a ciggy smoker? do i feel that way because i smoked for so long? my body is so sore, i feel like i've been dragged behind a semi in a potato sack... today is a great day and i am making the best of it. i pray that everyone will have an amazing, light filled day!!371d36d75e05eda735858f8e467be99c
    0 (0 Ratings)

    Thursday, July 10, 2008, 7:16 AM [General]

    i feel so grose, i ate so much crap yesterday! but i didn't smoke. i had a dream that i took a puff off of someone's cig and i woke up feeling so dissappointed with myself until i realized it was a dream, phew!! my mood is all over the place i double booked myself today and i am worried it's going to suck. i wonder how my artist friend is, will he ever talk to me again? how did i end up sending him an email 6 times? he must really think i'm from another planet...i think i'm all computer savvy and blam!! i send this dude like 6 email's of the same thing..see, never fails, when i think i'm all that,i fuck up.. scattered, i feel scattered...371d36d75e05eda735858f8e467be99c
    0 (0 Ratings)

    Tuesday, July 8, 2008, 12:59 AM [General]

    holy mother momdonna!!!!!! i am so proud of mysef i cried i moved myself to tears and cried. wow what an amazing feeling it is to take care of myself, protect myself, stand up for myself,be myself, and to love myself enough to finally start taking care of myself. i'm starting to see how i so did not value myself and am so stoked to have the awareness and now i really feel  and see the action coming in and to match my words and actions and to be very clear is very important to me right now and it's happening, i'm doing it and life is bueno thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!371d36d75e05eda735858f8e467be99c,,
    0 (0 Ratings)

    7 day's!!!!!!!

    Monday, July 7, 2008, 9:12 AM [General]

    vacation, all i ever wanted, vacation having to get away............tha's what i need so badly is to get away, i need sand between me toes and some sun on my skin!!! i, oy, feel like crying. my body is so outta wack and tense, yuk. however, i am on my 7th day of ciggy freeness and that's really good news! i feel my skin is starting to glow and the desire to smoke really isn't there i catch myself thinking i need one but it goes away real fast. my dad would be proud!! auch!! this sadness i feel suck's! well, must return to work.. peaceout!!!371d36d75e05eda735858f8e467be99c
    0 (0 Ratings)

    5 day's ciggy free!!!

    Saturday, July 5, 2008, 3:50 PM [General]

    day 5 ciggy free!! i feel really good and proud of myself!! wow i feel like i have learned so much about myself in the last few day's. awareness is a trip! i feel a sense of freedom with myself a releasing of old way's thought's and habits, and some fear that it will all go away and that's just another fear sneaking in under the guise of self protection and then i start to second guess everything, freak out and voila! i have successfully sabatauged my amazing feeling of freedom. i've become more aware of the sabatourtress and the damage that she is capable of doing she's pretty intense, it's wild seeing how uncomfortable happiness and stability are to me and how i make sure to take them away before anyone else can. i see now that i am wanting more out of myself and for myself, i feel like the golden key has been turned and with that a new sense of responsibility to myself and the world around me. i don't have to be perfect, in fact i don't have to be,do,say anything that i thought i had to do, it's okay to be me, to have a voice and trust that i am coming from a place of love and compassion, i am ready to receive love and compassion here and now and i am forever grateful for the continuing awareness and growth i deserve to be loved and to love with an open heart. woe, realizing how little i have thought of myself and the actions that came from that place are tripping me out, they sting, it makes me sad that i would treat myself that way but i understand now why i did what i did and i am forgiving myself and releasing it it's a motherfing challenge but, i take a deep breath and think of how rad i am for being 5 day's ciggy free and all is bueno. peaceout.

    371d36d75e05eda735858f8e467be99c
    0 (0 Ratings)

    Advertisement

Journal Categories

    Advertisement