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    Spiritual Mood: Mindful
    Status: I am open to how God is teaching and guiding me.

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  • pamheatley

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    Hey Serenity, One of the things I continued to struggle with in regard to God is that God knew before He created us the path we would take. So, I felt as though God could have just created us so that we would not make those choices. I now look at it differently. There is a profound reference in the silly movie Men in Black. I don't know if you are familiar with the movie but the older agent is talking to the younger agent about what people believe they just know. At one time, people just knew the earth was flat. I "know" what I believe today is more mature than what I believed twenty years past. That helps me to realize there is much I do not understand and may never understand. Just because, I really believe something at a particular time in my life does not mean it is the absolute truth. To me, our relationship with God is about choices and an elementary explanation is that without light and dark we would not be in a position to recognize our choices. Of course, that is a very simple explanation. I recognize your dilemma and I am not minimizing it; we all have our struggles. I do not believe that god punishes us for our flaws. God's word educates us as to how we may make wise choices. Many times what some view as punishment is God's way of bringing us to maturity? Something we view as punishment may be part of a much larger plan we cannot comprehend, but God calls us to faith, regardless. Sometimes, it is a so called "flaw" that God will use sometimes to do great work. We all have the freedom to decide what choices we make in every situation; primarily our perception. I used to tell my oldest daughter when she was a teenager that I wanted the absolute best for her, and I did not want to keep anything good from her. I also, as a parent had a better idea what was best for her and what would protect her. I told her it was important for her to trust that I always wanted the best for her, and that my instructions for her were always about that objective, even if she could not understand. I believe our relationship is like that with God. In our limited understanding we cannot always understand why God may "allow" something. Sometimes, we in our limited perspective wrongly become angry with God when it is our view that is distorted. That is an example of how faith guides the way and liberates us from our self imposed bondage. I have been so very angry about various aspects of relationships and things that have happened in my life, but I have begun to see the big picture of how I may learn through those experiences and decide what I want to "gain" from them. I have the ability to decide who I am going to be and believe. Joel Osteen is a minister and he comes on TV. I believe you will be able to find him on your local TV listing. He teaches self-control, and his messages are always positive. We are all a product of what we think. My dear friend, I don't want to appear as though I am trying to force anything on you. I have dealt with a great deal and it has truly been a journey and I greatly respect that we each have our own journey. I hope I may be a warm and helpful part of yours. For me, I don't believe the journey was meant to be traveled without hardship, turmoil, conflict, and pain. I no longer view those things as bad but part of what allows us to live outside ourselves. Great art (music, literature, dance, paintings, and sculpture) is a product of the depths of heartache, anger, pain and suffering. It is how we process those things and how we grow from them that greatness may be born. Think of a butterfly and how it must struggle in order to emerge, without assistance, to become the great beauty it is. There is a wonderful book called Forged by Fire; I will need to get the name of the author for you if you are interested. Obviously, there is so much to this. I'm sorry if I have over loaded you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. We all have to take it one day at a time. I really like your fruit loop picture. In friendship,

    April 23, 2009
    11:00 AM
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