I am so glad that I have faith in God. In times when I could not feel or see that I had any faith, I knew it was there. Faith is what has caused me to stretch and grow during times when my life has been challenging. Faith came from the inner most core of who I am.
I remember sitting one day at my kitchen window and wanting to die. I saw no way out of the challenge I was facing and thought dying would be way less painful than going through what I felt I was going to face. I felt so guilty that I felt the way I did, because I had two 13 year old children sitting on either side of me that I was responsible for rearing. I struggled for days with "just wanting to die". I shared my feelings with my counselor and he knew that I was not going to kill myself. He knew that I was just extremely sad and shocked over my current situation.
However, even in those darkest moments I still had faith. I had faith that God knew what he was doing, because that faith was way deep inside me. It had been planted years ago and had been watered and fertilized by going to church and listening to God's word and reading His words. I admit that it wasn't an easy time of my life. I admit that it is not somewhere I want to go back to and stay, but it is a place in my mind that I compare with where I am today.
My faith in God is the only thing that brought me through those darkest days. He put individuals, scripture and various other things in my path each day to get me through the day and to where I am today.
Shall we accept good from God and not trouble? Job 2:10 (NIV)