\
HELLO MY NAME IS THOMAS, AT THE TENDER AGE OF NINE I WENT TO MY FAVORETE FISHING HOLE LIKE I DID FOR GOD KNOWS HOW MANY TIMES AND A MAN CAME OUT O THE WOODS WITH A HANDGUN AND TOLD ME TO GET NAKED,THE REST I DON'T NEED TO SAY OTHER THAN I WAS NEVER THE SAME CHILD AGAIN. DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY WAS JUST A NORMAL PART OF MY LIFE, AND GOD, WELL LETS JUST SAY I DID'NT BELIEVE IN A GOD WHO WOULD LET THINGS LIKE WHAT HAPPEN TO ME TO HAPPEN PERIOD. FOR YEARS I WOULD GO THREW PERIODS OF ANGAR,HATE,FEAR,ABUSED,DIFFERENT THAN EVERYONE, A DEFECT,CURSED, LESS THAN, MORE THAN,I WOULD JUST LIE TO LIE,BECAUSE ON THAT DAYIT HAPPENED NO ONE BELIEVED ME, OR AT THE VERY LEASE LOOK INTO IT, BUT NOTHING WAS DONE ABOUT IT, NOT EVEN A PHONE CALL TO THE POLICE. I LOST FAITH IN EVERYONE AROUND ME AND TRUSTED NO ONE. WHEN I TURNED 10 I STARTED SMOKING POT AND DOING ANY KIND OF DRUG I COULD GET MY HANDS ON SO I WOULD FEEL LIKE ANYONE BUT MYSELF, I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE LIKE ANYONE EXCEPT MYSELF. IF YOU KNEW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME YOU WOULD NOT LIKE ME, OR SAY SOMETHING TO WHERE I WOULD HURT YOU REAL BAD SO YOU WOULD NEVER MENTION IT TO ANYONE FOR THE REST OF YOUR KNONW LIFE. I STARTED HANGING OUTWITH THE HOODS AND LOST SOULS PEOPLE ALL OLDER MOST WERE TEN OR MORE YEARS OLDER THAN ME I WAS COOL ENOUGH TO HANG WITH THEM BECAUSE I WAS'NT AFAID TO FIGHT,STEAL,SELL DRUGS, YOU NAME IT, I WOULD DO IT, I LEARNED EARLY ON IF YOU CARRYED A GUN OR SOME KINDA-OF WEAPON PEOPLE RESPECTED YOU AND YOU HAD POWER, YES, THAT VERY POWER THAT SCARED THE LIFE OUT OF ME AT NINE. FROM TEN TILL I WAS 17 WAS A BLUR OF FIGHTS,DRUGS,I WAS THE LAST PERSON ON EARTH THAT YOU WANTED TO HANG WITH OR BE AROUND BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN,AND WHEN I WOULD GO OFF. GOING OFF MENT SOMETHING BAD WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO SOMEONE, OR SOMETHING. I WOULD GO THREW PEIODS WHERE I WOULD ONLY COME OUT AY NIGHT, IT WAS JUST LIKE BEING A VAMPIRE. I WENT THREW JAIL FOR YOUTHES IN AND OUT TILL I WAS 17, WHICH I WAS GIVEN THE CHOICE OF GO INTO THE ARMY, OR GO UP TO STATE PRISON, WHICH I CHOSE THE ARMY. NO MATTER WHERE I WENT I WAS ALWASY IN TROUBLE FOR ONE THING OR ANOTHER.
I'VE BEEN ON EVERY KIND OF ANTI-DEPRESSION MEDICATION KNOWN TO MAN KIND AS WELL AS ANXEITY MEDICATION, NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK FOR ME THATS WAY I WOULD USE DRUGS AND ALCOHOL TO DEAL WITH LIFE. I WRECKED SO MANY GREAT RELATIONSHIPS WITH SO MAY WONDERFUL LADYS ITS UNBELIEVEABLE,YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I THANK THE LORD FOR MY WIFE TODAY,SHE IS DIFINITLY GOD SENT, SHES A LITTLE CRAZY SO IT KINDA-OF EQUALS OUT,ALL KIDDING ASIDE SHES GREAT. PROOF OF GOD IN MY LIFE, I OD 8 TIMES IN MY LIFE,TWICE I TRYED TO COMMITE SUISIDE, FELL FROM A ROOF 30 FEET UP ON A LADDER,I HAD A DITCH CAVE IN ON ME UP TO MY NECK,I SHOT 3 BAGS OF DOPE WHICH WOULD OR SHOULD HAVE KILLED A ZOO, AND THREW IT ALL I'AM STILL HERE, YES PEOPLE, THERE IS A GOD AND ANGELS OF THIS I AM SURE. DISPITE ALL THATS HAPPENED TO ME I BELIEVE IN A LOVING,KIND,LIFE SAVING,CAREING,UNDERSTANDING, VERY PATIENT GOD, WHO SENT HIS ONLY SON TO DIE A HORRIABLE,SICKING,HEART BREAKING DEATH FOR A ROTTEN,SELF-CENTER, SELF-SEEKING,CAREING ONLY ABOUT MYSELF,WRECHED SINFULL PERSON AS MYSELF TO DIE FOR ME,....WHAT LOVE NO MAN HAS EVER SHOWN ANOTHER LIKE CHRIST JESUS DID FOR ME, HE IS MY LORD, MY SAVIOR, MY FRIEND, MY FATHER,THE SON OF THE MOST HIGH GOD, MY ALL, SO WHENEVER I GET A CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING I TRY NOT TO MISS THAT CHANCE. WHY, BECAUSE HE NEVER MISSED A CHANCE WITH ME. ONE GOD, ONE SON, AND ONE HOLY SPIRIT! THE LORD SHOWED ME FORGIVENES FROM THAT MAN WHEN I WAS NINE, HE TAUGHT ME THAT IT WAS JUST SIN IN THIS MANS HEART, AND I FORGAVE HIM!! THIS ONLY COMES FROM CHRIST JESUS THAT I CAN FORGIVE. PRAISE,HONOR,GLORY,AND ALL BLESSINGS GO TO
MY LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS THE LIVING CHRIST.

WHEN I START TO GET CRAZY I GO TO GODS WORD, THE BIBLE, THAT SEEMS T MAKE THINGS A LITTLE BETTER THAN BEFORE, AND ALOT OF PRAYING, TRY IT, MAY HELP YOU. IN CHRST JESUS, THE LORD OF THREE










.