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5 years ago  ::  May 24, 2009 - 3:22PM #1
Arianna
Posts: 1,317

As we all suffer from depression, or some other MI, I'm wondering if anyone else has the same problem I am having. One of my best friend of 30 years called last night, we spoke, when I told her my Dr. prescribed me another medication, ie nerve pain med, she freaked out, as to ''just what you need another pill to take''


First and foremost, I suffer from clinical depression/GAD....then throw in my chronic pain in my lower back, ie, muscle spasms, shooting pain down my leg, stabbing, burning, and arthritis in both my knees. Mind you, I worked in the hospitality business for 30 years, have taken a few hard falls, thus my back problems, along with my scatica pain.


First, I DO NOT have insurance, I pay for ALL of this out of pocket, I see my Dr. once a month, and it took me YEARS to find a Dr. to FINALLY get it, and I thank God for that. My Dr. has been a BLESSING.


Do I want to take my medications, HELL yes, if it makes me feel better and have a better quality of life, I will continue to do so. So, at this point, I will SHUT my mouth and not say anything else about the medications to my friends. I'm very honest, but this is causing problems....depression + friendships.....chronic pain + friendships..............SUCK.


Julie

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5 years ago  ::  May 24, 2009 - 4:31PM #2
Weeble75
Posts: 503

{{{{{{{{{{Arianna/Julie}}}}}}}}}}


I'm writing this off the top of my head, so if I say something off-the-wall, please just skip over it.


In thinking about your friend's comment, I guess I'd have to know in what sense her comment was made to really know how to relate. A pastor friend of mine (many years ago) liked to say, "it is our INTERPRETATION of people and events that causes us to suffer." How it was intended and how you took it can vary a lot.


I know someone whose daughter absolutely DOES NOT "GET IT" about brain disorders, and when she started taking additional meds to treat disorders that had not been addressed before, her daughter said the same kind of thing in a sarcastic/judgmental kind of way. If your friend meant it that way, I'd say she needs a good whack with a Cluebat.


It's possible also that your friend was being sympathetic; some people take a lot of pills for various reasons that have nothing to do with mental health. I take seven myself (4 related to mental health, 3 related to diabetes). If I had to add another pill to my regimen (say, for high blood pressure; mine is kinda borderline, so it could happen), *I*'d probably have comments of my own like "yeah, just what I need, another pill to keep up with; I need that like I need a hole in the head". Wouldn't necessarily mean I questioned the medical need; I'd just be commenting on the extra hassle.


Since you said your friend freaked, I presume she wasn't being light-hearted about it, but that doesn't mean you can't be, such as in the manner I just mentioned. Solomon reminded us that "a gentle answer turns away anger" (Prov. 15:1a). If you can joke back about it (and face it, if we don't laugh about our problems now and then, we'll end up crying about 'em, and that's no fun), that could take the sting out of it, and perhaps be a gentle thought provoker that your friend's comment was not very sensitive.


I would agree that we probably all have to be aware of who we should open up to about our illness and with whom it may be best to keep most or all the details to ourselves. For myself, I tend to be fairly open initially because I need *support*, too, and not just from my fellow consumers. Some will be supportive, some won't. Maybe most won't. But now and then I do find someone who's understanding and supportive, and they're worth their weight in gold.


Hope these ramblings have some helpful stuff for you.


God bless,


Mike

Weebles Wobble But They Don't Fall Down
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5 years ago  ::  May 24, 2009 - 9:57PM #3
belleo
Posts: 2,842

Arianna



Posts: 294 the only person that is a pain about my medication is my dear husband . I have similar health issues Arianna . Lower back pain , and pain shooting down my leg I use to take potent meds for that . Then one doctor at a clinic told me to go see a chiropractor . He didn't believe in pain pills unless everything else was tried first ..The pain down the leg went away after one treatment and it never came back . The arthritis in lower back is worst if I sit for long periods of time .. I have allergies to all anti inflammatories . Heat helps the pain in the lower back. I try to space myself when there is work to be done here 



I have friends also that are not very kind  or compassionate . It's no ones business  what you decide to take for the pain you experience . You are the one that know what you need . The best to you .

Just me
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5 years ago  ::  May 24, 2009 - 10:38PM #4
Rowanleaf
Posts: 170

I have to agree - if medication is the way you cope best then you don't have to let anyone make you feel bad about taking it. I think people, when they see others in pain, often have such a desire to fix them, and so they get a little judgemental, because after all everyone has their own ideas on how to best to heal. But getting well has to come out of making the choices you think are best for you, otherwise you feel disempowered, and that's not conducive to health, and definitely not a good mood - that's my opinion anyway. And I think everyone needs support on their chosen path of getting well. I'm sorry you don't feel supported by your best friend in this - hopefully you can let her know that you'd just like emotional support even if she doesn't agree with the medication thing - but if not, I'm sure there are plenty of people here who can see from your point of view.

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5 years ago  ::  May 24, 2009 - 11:17PM #5
Krszbc
Posts: 74

I understand totally. I have one sister who is totally against pills of any kind and I think she is ignorant and ridiculous. She is not well educated. My other sister knows better.


We know our own bodies and if the meds weren't good for us we would know better than anyone else, right? It does aggravate me when my sister gets on her no pills no doctor kick.


she is an odd one. She has her good qualities but she has no understanding of medicene. Then there are the ones who don't think medicenes are Godly, that really gets me, God gave some of us the intelligence and know how to create chemicals that can help our brains and bodys. I wonder if she would study about history and what life was like before all the vaccines we have today to protect our children.  Oh  well I could go  on...Im just complaining about people who make judgements on things they know nothing about.

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5 years ago  ::  May 24, 2009 - 11:44PM #6
Weeble75
Posts: 503

Got a comeback for you.


Next time you encounter someone who says that taking meds or seeing a doctor is somehow ungodly or a lack of faith, ask them why THE APOSTLE PAUL had a PERSONAL PHYSICIAN?


I'm referring of course to Luke, author of the Gospel of Luke and the Acts of the Apostles. (EGAD! TWO BOOKS OF THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY A DOCTOR!! OH, MY! Laughing)


(You may now ROTFL!)

Weebles Wobble But They Don't Fall Down
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5 years ago  ::  May 25, 2009 - 2:06AM #7
Arianna
Posts: 1,317

(((Mike)))


(((Marie)))


(((Kelly)))


(((Rowanleaf)))


I THANK YOU ALL for your comments on this situation. I am chosing NOT to share any more info on my meds. Just like you all said,, some people just don't get it.


THANKS AGAIN!!!


Julie

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5 years ago  ::  May 25, 2009 - 2:11AM #8
Arianna
Posts: 1,317

Yes Mike, if we can't laugh about it, we'd ALL be in trouble!


Laughter IS the best Medicine...wish they could bottle that up!!

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5 years ago  ::  May 25, 2009 - 7:13AM #9
luthitarian
Posts: 646

Mike, good point about Luke!


(BTW,What is it about all these doctors who turn to writing: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Robin Cook, Michael Crighton, Luke?)


My wife has chronic migraines, fibromialgia, depression, and GAD. She would, in some quarters, be considered the veritable "Party Pooper" because she rarely feels good enough or has enough energy to do things that others might consider fun--spending all day shopping, gardening, entertaining or playing hostess, etc. Some friends have fallen by the wayside because she's too much of an ol' "stick-in-the-mud". (Aside--wonder where the hell that expression came from?) One of her best friends got irritated with her because she doesn't often feel like doing the kind of things this high energy friend likes to do, and there was a period of about a year when they weren't speaking. As close as they have been, and as much as they have been through together in their single parent days, her friend is one who seems to think all that is necessary is make up your mind, and then DO IT!


Some people just don't get it. And some don't want to. Sad, but true. 

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5 years ago  ::  May 25, 2009 - 3:10PM #10
Arianna
Posts: 1,317

Bob,


Where did  ''stick in the mud'' come from?? I used to never be like that. I so relate to what your wife went thru, and I'm sorry for her and sympathize with her and her pain. Hugg her gently for me.


I befriended a 81 year old friend back in 2003 ish, I was at the pool, and saw her trying to bring some books to her apt. We became the best of friends, ohhh the times we had, she just loved to go go go, so we went went went. I have to say she brought life to me, and I brought life to her...I has lights on my patio, and turned them on so she knew I was home. We named ourselves Thelma & Louise, and it fit! We gigggled like school girls over the silliest things, we just clicked! I could go on and on about our good times...I did things for her I thought I could NEVER do...hospitals, rehbilitation centers, cleaned up after her when she had accidents....I TREASURE those times.


Almost 3 years ago when I lost my grandmother, job, boyfriend, my mom..(so to speak) I struggled to get out of bed...top that with lawyers, wills, moving...so I moved less than a 1/4 mile from her, she had gone to live in a retirement home. When I moved, it was GOOD for me, the old place had gotten beyond bad. Then once I settle in here, I break up with my boyfriend again...Oct hits...hard month, Nov hits, wosrt month for me(Tam will understand) then I get my SAD~~i DON'T DO WINTER WELL...I go into deep depression, huddled in my house, well....LSS Louise doesn't get it, why I can't go go go...I tell her I'm depressed, ''OH, JUST GET UP'' then she puts a guilt trip on me...One day it was ''You told me we we're going, and you can't do anything anymore....thus I was no good to her anymore...SHE quit calling.


My depression cost a ''Thelma & Louise friendship.


Julie~~btw...there was a 43 yr age difference

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