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    ever_evolving, Hi. Just read your comments about you & your "boyfriend." You do deserve better. I don't know what is holding you back, but you & I know that you should find someone who loves you. He can't make a statement that you be monogamous with him, while is he is with his now pregnant girlfriend. I am just finally dealing with my own issues with a therapist. I'm 52 (I think lol) & going back into therapy. But yesterday I left feeling so good, that I actually went over to my girlfriend's house. You (& I) need to go outside of our mind & start facing issues so that we can see our worth & go forward, even making goals. I suffer from clinical deep depression, anxiety, & for the past several months, agoraphobia. Plus I am ill, obviously lol, but I also have physical issues that I deal with on a daily basis. I feel stuck, just like I think you are feeling. Pray. Ask God to help you, turn this problem over to Him. I don't know if I've helped, but I'm willing to listen & hear you talk it out. I am sad; I don't want you to be sad, too. Praise God & ask for just a little bit of His strength to get you through this.

    tufnelly
    March 11, 2011
    12:03 PM
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    For the past year, I have been involved with a man who has been in his current relationship for the past 14 or so years. He has no desire to marry her, and just recently found out that she is pregnant. Our situation was supposed to just be about fun and comfort but HE changed it and said that he didn't want me to be with anyone else...that he wanted to be the man who takes care of the manly duties in and around my house. Unfortunately, he's not a man of his word. There have been a number of times where for good reason - he did something wrong - or no reason other than that I know better and deserve better, that I have tried to end the relationship. He always comes back saying he doesn't want it to end, or what can he do to make things better BUT he makes NOT ONE CHANGE. He has even gone so far as to say that he knows he could have done more to make things work. He DOES NOTHING. Even in the worst of trouble, he does nothing different. Its business as usual. My issue is that I can't understand why it hurts me so bad to even TRY to leave. Why, although I know I deserve better - and that he doesn't really even try - it hurts so much to try to walk away. I will always see and be around him because of our inner circle BUT it hurts so much to see him and not have his attention. His affection. I see him maybe once a week. MAYBE. We may text everyday or talk every few days but that's really the extent of the relationship...other than sex. I have had to admit to myself in recent days that I don't even have the willingness to put myself out there or try to make things better. He hasn't so why should I? He says he love me, and I love him but this situation is beginning to really have emotional and physically affects on me and I just need to talk it through...work it out...for myself.

    ever_evolving
    March 10, 2011
    1:44 PM
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    Greetings everyone from a newbie! I've been receiving the beliefnet newsletter for some time now and after much reading have decided to join you. I have depression mainly due to a chemical imbalance and damaged brain cells caused by a stroke I had when I was 29. On top of this I moved from FL to OH where there is so much less sunlight and it seems to have compounded things. It's nice to have a community of people who understand this darn disorder so you don't find yourself trying to explain the unexplainable. Have a wonderful happy husband who admits to not "getting it" but is trying to now for 8 yrs. He's my brite spot among all the gray skies.....have 3 other brite spots all 4 legged and furry :0) "Logically" I have no reason to be depressed but I just can't get that thought through to my brain......thanks to all for reading!

    Trezur
    February 25, 2011
    10:52 AM
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    I am currently finishing your book Beyond Blue. I am shocked at all we have in common! I too have a pituitary adenoma, I lived in Laurel as a child (in the huge Montpelier neighborhood!) and I was a candystriper at the Laurel Hospital where you received help. I too have struggled with feeling responsible for the problems of the world ( cried myself to sleep one christmas in Laurel when I received a clock radio that required MORE energy just for me to use it - it took me weeks to plug it in), the voices, nervous breakdowns, and I was sent to a nutritionist a few years ago who encouraged a raw foods diet and Krill Oil supplements (better than the omega 3 by itself, truly). I have been told repeatedly that I am very sensitive and that I feel things deeper than other people. I am also a Christian. I have dog eared so many pages of your book because you said what I think or have already lived, it astonishes me. I am grateful that you spoke about your need to work for your identity. I lost my job in October 2008 and have not been able to get back in the working world despite much effort. This rejection I feel has been the hardest thing I have had to live through (and I have been through stuff, trust me) - I lost my identity, my sense of worth and fulfillment as a human being. I was great at what I did - and that was the only area of life I felt confidence. In an effort to fight back, I am finishing my degree (because 25 years of experience means nothing now) and will enter the master's program in April so that I will never be considered unqualified again. However, I still struggle with the anxiety and fear that I have lost my career forever and the humiliation and shame that I know others judge me and even worse, that they really don't care. I want you to know that you have tremendous courage, I could not bare myself as you have done - BUT - I am so grateful that you did. I needed to know my problems are not unique, my thoughts are not unique, losing control and crying while I excercise is not unique. AND that I have to manage this continuously! I have decided to follow your lead and continue with counseling whether I am doing good or bad, and join a depression support group. I am also taking a course on cognitive therapy presently. I would like to go for hypotherapy on top of that to help me with these knee jerk emotions and horrible thoughts. It helped me quit smoking so I think it probably can't hurt anymore than the myriad different prescriptions over the years that barely help for very long. Thank you for your transparency. You say you struggle with self esteem issues but I have to say, it doesn't show at all. Also, I was greatly comforted to know that you are educated, smart and successful. You are not a loser, so maybe I can have this problem and not be a loser too.

    icandothis
    February 24, 2011
    12:57 PM
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    Was just introduced to one of your blog entries today, from someone I know at Facebook; it truly spoke to me. :)

    Welle
    February 5, 2011
    10:47 PM
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    I've recently returned to Beliefnet after being gone for several years. My complex life on a spiritual battle after 12 years of journal notes, the birth of my first novel launched January 7, 2011 "The Third Testament". I invite everyone to visit my Journal and my website: www.TheThirdTestament.net and read a few pages to learn for yourself. In my research I discovered over 24 million people around the world are suffering from schizophrenia disease. This is alarming in addition to the many other fatal diseases we as human beings are forced to endure in life. I hope to help many others in my life on my own journey home as I tell the true story of my own revelations. God's light helped me to see the way to his will in the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ spoke the truth when he told the people; God is coming to reconcile himself with man, even the most retched, do not shut the door on his face. I have discovered a theory in the life of man, but maybe I'm the last of the litter to tell my true story beyond my pain. It is my love and compassion in humanity I seek to find the ways to help another. Enlighten,

    Ladyjem03
    January 19, 2011
    6:26 PM
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    I had an Ephany... I was thinking... that if all of your thoughts were manefested this second you would not be here! My thoughts have always been in the past or the future. Allways thoughts of regret and what ifs. This day... I chose just to be here now and me greatful for the sunshine, the beautiful apple, my bicycle, and my home... And like a fragrance appearing in a foul room my depression disapeared.

    marylatresa
    January 13, 2011
    12:40 PM
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    I am brand new to Beliefnet and I am so grateful to find this site. I suffer from severe depression and have been feeling much much worse lately. I have been very frightened about myself and I have been pretty weary of constantly feeling so down and out. I went to the library yesterday and walked down an aisle I normally don't go down and found the book Beyond Blue, Surviving Depression and Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes. I began reading and did not put this book down until I finished it late in the night. I feel like God led me to this book along that aisle as a sign of hope and grace from above and the knowledge that there is a community of people who suffer as I do and are willing to talk about it. I laughed and I cried and I now feel I can hang on and work through this horrible time. Thank you Therese Borchard!

    Mbbec9
    December 28, 2010
    10:05 PM
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    I am A recovering addict who is also Bipolar. I am also agoraphobic! I would like to conversre with anyone who shares these afflictions! I have a very dysfunctional family and a very drug addicted son who terrorizes everyone in my home!!! My Daughter choose to abandon her 3 and 4 year old with us to live with a drug addict! When the kids were with Her at Her boyfriends house both of them were abusing the Babies !!!! Even though My depression is soooo bad , My God gives me the strength to care for them ! My husband I are severelydisabled but again my God gives me the ability to care for these poor Babes who have been abused and seen their Mother be abused all their little life ! I just Praise God He has Blessed them My Husband and myself with them!!!!

    TRICIA.M
    December 26, 2010
    1:50 PM
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    I don't know if i am at the right section to tell you all about myself. I lost my beautiful mother on March 4, 2009 at 4:03 pm. She passed away here at home with all of her loving family around her. Hospice was here as well making sure that she was as comfortable as possible. I have not been the same since that day! I have always suffered from anxieties, panic attacks, and depression, but now it seems that I have fallen into complete darkness and sorrow! I can't even leave the house sometimes because of my panic attacks and fear. I feel guilty and overwhelmed by saddness! I don't think that I have had time to really grieve for my mother because I had just had my son when she passed awsy and everyone kept telling me to go on and that I had to be there for my son. So I just pushed emotions to the back of my mind. I feel it has done me more harm than good! I see a psycologist and i am on meds for depression, anxiety and panic attacks, bi-polar disorder and other mental problems! I just don't know what to do anymore! I want to be happy again and live! So I was sitting in my room one day and I got on my computer and started looking up tarot cards and I found a site on Angels and spirituality. I quickly thought that getting help spiritually would help me get better physically and mentally. I have faith that it will. But I just started my mission to find myself again with help from my angels and groups such as yours. Please pray for me to overcome this deep sorrow in my heart and all the confusion in my mind! Thank You All!! Michelle

    Angel1945
    December 19, 2010
    6:11 PM
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