I came up with this prayer when I was really down. Feel free to share.
God be above me, God be below me.
God be in front of me, God be behind me.
God be to my right, God be to my left.
God be within me, God surround me.
Lord, let Your Healing Light was over me and through me.
And grant me good health in all ways.
Thank you. I wrote in my blog last night about my depression, then found Beyond Blue. Coincidence? I think not. One of the things that I want to know is mental illness and genetics. There are 4(four)! generations of documented mental illness in my family and it covers the gamut. Chronic depression to bi-polar to paranoid schizophrenia to ADHD to depression to PTSD. Does anyone else have a multi-generation history of mental illness?
hmm.. an interesting concept - a group journal. Sort of like an ongoing thread without any specific subject other than what's on your mind. Intriguing. I will think on this some more as I can see great potential in this for helping each other. The trick is in knowing what to use it for and how your additions to the thread can help yourself talk through something and also help others.
I'm a newbie. I found her blog about a month ago and it hit home with me, but I promptly forgot about it. Luckily I was smart enough at the time to bookmark it, and I found it again last nite. Since finding it the first time, I've figured out that I'm very likely bi-polar. I've rejected this diagnosis for a few years because of the stigma associated with it. Now I'm realizing that it explains everything. It is becoming worse, even as cognitive behavioral therapy is getting rid of the dark depression that once hovered over me. Now I'm left with all the fatigue, insomnia, anxiety, lethargy associated with depression without actually wanting to hurt myself or being suicidal or even thinking negatively about myself. I'm just numb and tired and anxious, at least until I hit the hypomania, then I'm an ADHD kid on steriods, lol. I'm having a hard time coping with this "new" depression because I don't "feel" depressed the way i used to. Before, I could separate it from myself, this is so much deeper than that and isn't from faulty thought processes. I'm at a loss to figure out how to approach it. Anyway, I'm glad to find people that understand what I'm going through. God bless :)
Hi everyone. I'm having a really rough patch right now. Deep depression & out of control anxiety. How stupid is my anxiety? I haven't taken a shower in 3 days. What's that about? The reel-to-reel in my head is almost continuous again. I did start therapy again, but after one session, she went on vacation. I am sick of this. And the stupid questions people say to me, as addressed by Therese today. Even my husband. He yells at me if I don't want to go outside. Yep, agoraphobia, too. I'm sorry to blast here, but it does help. I rely on God. When I'm this bad, though, sometimes my heart feels hard & I need to ask God to circumsize my heart. Am not suicidal - or homicidal, as people ask. Just...My stomach is churning right now, because I have to shave my legs (it's very hot here in AZ) & tak a shower - or could I put it off another day???
ever_evolving, Hi. Just read your comments about you & your "boyfriend." You do deserve better. I don't know what is holding you back, but you & I know that you should find someone who loves you. He can't make a statement that you be monogamous with him, while is he is with his now pregnant girlfriend. I am just finally dealing with my own issues with a therapist. I'm 52 (I think lol) & going back into therapy. But yesterday I left feeling so good, that I actually went over to my girlfriend's house. You (& I) need to go outside of our mind & start facing issues so that we can see our worth & go forward, even making goals. I suffer from clinical deep depression, anxiety, & for the past several months, agoraphobia. Plus I am ill, obviously lol, but I also have physical issues that I deal with on a daily basis. I feel stuck, just like I think you are feeling. Pray. Ask God to help you, turn this problem over to Him. I don't know if I've helped, but I'm willing to listen & hear you talk it out. I am sad; I don't want you to be sad, too. Praise God & ask for just a little bit of His strength to get you through this.
For the past year, I have been involved with a man who has been in his current relationship for the past 14 or so years. He has no desire to marry her, and just recently found out that she is pregnant.
Our situation was supposed to just be about fun and comfort but HE changed it and said that he didn't want me to be with anyone else...that he wanted to be the man who takes care of the manly duties in and around my house. Unfortunately, he's not a man of his word.
There have been a number of times where for good reason - he did something wrong - or no reason other than that I know better and deserve better, that I have tried to end the relationship. He always comes back saying he doesn't want it to end, or what can he do to make things better BUT he makes NOT ONE CHANGE. He has even gone so far as to say that he knows he could have done more to make things work. He DOES NOTHING. Even in the worst of trouble, he does nothing different. Its business as usual.
My issue is that I can't understand why it hurts me so bad to even TRY to leave. Why, although I know I deserve better - and that he doesn't really even try - it hurts so much to try to walk away. I will always see and be around him because of our inner circle BUT it hurts so much to see him and not have his attention. His affection.
I see him maybe once a week. MAYBE. We may text everyday or talk every few days but that's really the extent of the relationship...other than sex. I have had to admit to myself in recent days that I don't even have the willingness to put myself out there or try to make things better. He hasn't so why should I?
He says he love me, and I love him but this situation is beginning to really have emotional and physically affects on me and I just need to talk it through...work it out...for myself.
Greetings everyone from a newbie! I've been receiving the beliefnet newsletter for some time now and after much reading have decided to join you.
I have depression mainly due to a chemical imbalance and damaged brain cells caused by a stroke I had when I was 29.
On top of this I moved from FL to OH where there is so much less sunlight and it seems to have compounded things.
It's nice to have a community of people who understand this darn disorder so you don't find yourself trying to explain the unexplainable.
Have a wonderful happy husband who admits to not "getting it" but is trying to now for 8 yrs. He's my brite spot among all the gray skies.....have 3 other brite spots all 4 legged and furry :0)
"Logically" I have no reason to be depressed but I just can't get that thought through to my brain......thanks to all for reading!
I am currently finishing your book Beyond Blue. I am shocked at all we have in common! I too have a pituitary adenoma, I lived in Laurel as a child (in the huge Montpelier neighborhood!) and I was a candystriper at the Laurel Hospital where you received help.
I too have struggled with feeling responsible for the problems of the world ( cried myself to sleep one christmas in Laurel when I received a clock radio that required MORE energy just for me to use it - it took me weeks to plug it in), the voices, nervous breakdowns, and I was sent to a nutritionist a few years ago who encouraged a raw foods diet and Krill Oil supplements (better than the omega 3 by itself, truly). I have been told repeatedly that I am very sensitive and that I feel things deeper than other people. I am also a Christian.
I have dog eared so many pages of your book because you said what I think or have already lived, it astonishes me. I am grateful that you spoke about your need to work for your identity. I lost my job in October 2008 and have not been able to get back in the working world despite much effort. This rejection I feel has been the hardest thing I have had to live through (and I have been through stuff, trust me) - I lost my identity, my sense of worth and fulfillment as a human being. I was great at what I did - and that was the only area of life I felt confidence.
In an effort to fight back, I am finishing my degree (because 25 years of experience means nothing now) and will enter the master's program in April so that I will never be considered unqualified again. However, I still struggle with the anxiety and fear that I have lost my career forever and the humiliation and shame that I know others judge me and even worse, that they really don't care.
I want you to know that you have tremendous courage, I could not bare myself as you have done - BUT - I am so grateful that you did. I needed to know my problems are not unique, my thoughts are not unique, losing control and crying while I excercise is not unique. AND that I have to manage this continuously! I have decided to follow your lead and continue with counseling whether I am doing good or bad, and join a depression support group. I am also taking a course on cognitive therapy presently. I would like to go for hypotherapy on top of that to help me with these knee jerk emotions and horrible thoughts. It helped me quit smoking so I think it probably can't hurt anymore than the myriad different prescriptions over the years that barely help for very long.
Thank you for your transparency. You say you struggle with self esteem issues but I have to say, it doesn't show at all. Also, I was greatly comforted to know that you are educated, smart and successful. You are not a loser, so maybe I can have this problem and not be a loser too.
Was just introduced to one of your blog entries today, from someone I know at Facebook; it truly spoke to me. :)