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Sunday, February 28, 2010, 10:30 AM
The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
for he has anointed me
to bring good news to the afflicted.
He has sent me to proclaim liberty to captives,
sight to the blind,
to let the oppressed go free,
to proclaim a year of favor from the Lord.
I think we al suffer from oppression one way or another .Is it because of what others do to us ? Looking within I think we will see that our jealousies , resentments need to be lifted . Praying does help , it prepares the way to healing . When overly burdened there is a need for community . I praise and thank God that I belong to the Catholic Church . It hasn't always been that way . Getting bogged down because of limited clergy that to me today doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the Church .
We have to pray for one another . The clergy needs prayers too . They are human like the rest of us . Today I give thanks to you dear Lord for all your priests that make available to us your sacraments . Praise and thank you for the Sacrament of the Sick . I feel much more freedom as your child .
Glory to you among the kings and the peasants . My parents were peasants . They were proud people . Living close to the earth they glorified you . That my family may glorify your name I pray this AM . Acceptance of who they are every step of the way will free them to walk in your ways .
Tuesday, February 23, 2010, 9:45 AM
Joanne , I know you were listening but I am wondering how you felt , and how you reacted interiorly as I was sharing with you ?
Maybe fears came up , what about anger ? Did you want for me to change the subject because it was painful and you didn't want to cope with it just then ? It's okay !
I dislike jumping to conclusion . I felt you had trust . faith , hope and that your deep down desires would be granted . The Lord's presence was with us . There will be joy for you . Confusion does enter in at times in my life . Together we can go through all that
You have been a dear friend and I appreciate you . I thank God for you .
Wednesday, February 17, 2010, 10:10 AM
In years gone by it used to be to abstain from all goodies except on Sunday .Going to daily Mass was suggested . There was a need for daily prayer . Morning prayer one of those I remember:
I thank Thee , O good God that Thou hast preserved me during the night .
O God , keep me also this day . I offer to Thee my thoughts , words , actions and sufferings of the present day in union with the Sacred Heart of Jesus .
My heavenly Mother Mary, watch over me this day . My guardian Angel . take care of me . St Joseph and all ye saints of God ,pray for me .
Our Father who hart in heaven....
An Hail Mary , Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with you ....
Apostle's Creed , I believe in one God , the Father almighty creator of hea ven and earth....
Today is Ash Wednesday for Christians . Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent . How will we spend Lent ? The Church today places blessed ashes on our foreheads . Why ? It is a remembrance of death and it is a symbol of our dedication to the works of penance .
One by one we go up to the priest and he distributes the sacred ashes . And the priest says ,"Remember , man that you are dust , and unto dust you shall return .."
today I see Lent as a time of prayer and on having a focus on those who need help spiritually and not to forget those who are strangers in our land . They are in need of love and acceptance . The youth today that have left their home with more then baggage on their back they need help .Will we take the time to at least listen when they reach out to us . Lent is a time to open our hearts to others in need of love and affirmation.
Monday, February 15, 2010, 12:57 PM
This entry may seem like we lived in the Renaissance in the sixties but no we lived a very Canadian household . Mom and daddy and three kids all sitting together around a table for eight . Quite often an extra person would drop in for dinner and that was very good for the younger kids .Why would that be ? Parents are on their best behavior when there is another adult present . Oh yeah !
Seriously the dinner table decorated by mom with beautiful flowers and bright placemats that should have been condusive to a great meal ? I wish I remembered the good , happy meals we had together . Maybe as I write this it will come to mind .
So now I am on a different tangent . My mother and her nest of little ones at the dinner table . Under her wings so to speak . Nice looking rectangular table made by dad . Painted green and red . He couldn't afford to buy a table that would sit sixteen of us on a daily basis It is porridge time again . Me I can't swallow it anymore . Not being that intelligent I still say that to myself at times what is the appropriate thing to do for a four year old skinny little kid that does not want to eat porridge . Tipping my bowl would that work ? I know I better not do that . Then I would get hit on the head and sent to my room . There was a self under this table . Why dad built it that way I have no idea to this day . That saved me . None would say who put a bowl down under hee hee
Back to my turf in the sixties . Daddy Loebe , he was raised with wolves . They could be called city slickers but they were wolves . They did devor choice meat but they left their teeth in the human spirit . They so believed in competition and put downs that to be part of that pack left scars that just don't heal . Isn't that how it gets trnsmitted from generation to generation
It seems unfair not to mention that I had my own traits to deal with . At the dinner table I said nothing . If one spilled milk it was not a calamity . I just got up went to the kitchen came back with towel and wiped it . Then , I would hear ,"Thanks mom."
Today , I have no problem speaking up or leaving the dinner table . Freedom , I do have. No more put downs at the dinner table . We are suppose to celebrate at the dinner table . Most days that is what we do now . Praise the Lord we do change .
Monday, February 15, 2010, 8:05 AM
George is his name . He no longer believes in Christianity . I didn' have to ask why . Sitting with him and listening to deep wounds from his childhood how could I start asking him questions ? I felt sad for the way he was treated by clergy . Having said that what is an hallucination ? The clergy person told him at eleven years old that the lemur he saw was from the devil . Isn't that just peachy ? That he was sinful . Come on people how detestable is that ? So now he has a major problem with Christianity . It is very sad . I can sit with him , I can be present to him . I know I can't heal him . I want him to know that he is not alone that I am here for him . That's pretty well all I can do .
Saturday, February 13, 2010, 9:43 PM
My son lives in Asia . He is learning the language of his wife . She is Korean . They were married in the Catholic Church . It's called a mixed marriage since she has left Christianity . My son was telling me that she brings him to visit temples all over South Korea. Lovely buldings . There are statues of Buddha all over . I use to like the pot bellied Buddha . My heart wasn't with my church at the time . I blamed church and God on everything that was evil in my life . What can I say God just doesn't look that good when living daily strife .
My son says he is happy there is a Catholic Church in Seoul . That is were he was married . He says he can do without the empty temples . It's a cold feeling he says to be in those temples .
He mentioned something quite profound . We have our own temples here . Most days we visit once a day . Food stores have become our temples . Pretty soon we will look like the Bouddha statues with pot bellies .
Wednesday, February 10, 2010, 8:38 AM
There's a man I know quite well . He enjoys probing . When one opens up he has nothing to say . Silence is not golden . If he was free enough he would have a word or two to say . I do not open up to him anymore . He does have degrees in divinity . That did not free him from his past . Probably I am making a judgement here and I dislike judgements so lets just say that his daily comportment is not condusive to freedom .
I wrote my story many years ago and it was published . Is it the same story today ? Looking back thirty years or so there has been many changes in my inner life . Healing starts from within . It's a response to the love that God has for us . It is conversion (Metanoiia) One's life is so different with conversion that is accepted everyday .
Searching answers outside of Christianity does more harm than good . I did that and the darkness took a hold of me . Now I was sicker than I had ever been. Remembering all the pop psychology books I read and tried to put into practice that really did me in .
Putting a chair in front of me and visualizing my mother in it the book said to stab her repeatedly . Having been brought up Catholic I should have know that was wrong . Sins of the mind are sins , right ? Darkness filled me . No more praying just thoughts of getting even for all the pain in my life . It was, it was done to me, I did nothing to deserve the treatment meted out to me .
Chemical imbalance surfaced ? Maybe I already had a chemical imbalance I am not sure how that works . Is one born with it ? Does it come about when one is mistreated in childhood ? However it comes about it does need to be healed . Thank goodness for doctors and medicine . I am thankful that the chemical imbalance was treatable . For almost twenty years now enjoying much freedom . Praise God !
I remain in the Word of God today . Psychology books I do not read anymore . When the stress level gets high I know I have to do something . That is definitely a cause in the chemical imbalance .We are made for joy of the Lord . God is love .
Tuesday, February 9, 2010, 10:50 AM
History mine was it similar to the men /women of old ? For many years I only saw God as vengeful and cruel . Today I think I know why it was that way . Being one of fourteen children living with a stressed out mother that is what did it . I know that today . Mother could not give what she never received . In many ways she was caring . She did provide us with meals . Nutritious meals well not like we have today . When you live in the northern regions of northern Ontario , Canada fruit is quite expensive . Scurvy some of us experienced from a lack of vitamin C.
Some say that they should not have had such a large family . We all are happy to be alive . To have chopped off half the family that would have diminished us in many ways . I love all my brothers and sisters . Two are gone to eternal rest now .
My father was a hard working man . He didn't drink , he didn't smoke and he didn't swear .The odd curse at times. Mom would admonish him and tell him it was bettr to forgive He was a God fearing man in his own way . He did read the Bible quite literally . An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth; he took that literally . Poor soul , he had no education . He taught himself how to read .When , he thought his child had erred a beating followed .
Dad was born in 1902 . Eleven year difference between them .They both respectedauthority figures . I'm not too sure how they saw priests . I know they would weigh every word coming from the pulpit . We all went to church on Sunday . I enjoyed dresing up for church . Gravel roads are not suited for high heel shoes . I laugh today wearing those shoes was like a rite of passage from childhood to adulthood
I didn't have a childhood full of fun and ferry tales . When almost 16 years old I had to quit school to look after my brothers and sisters . I felt happy in some ways that I was useful . Mom was sick . She didn't show any of us love or affection . She had been neglected by her step-mother . Her mother had died when she was 2 years old .She had singled me out for abuse . That started when I was very young . Before she died she took steps in reconciliation . At first I couldn't respond . Eventually I forgave her for al the battery . Emotional abuse is just as bad . Telling me over and over that I was not wanted .... At seven years old I wanted to commit suicide . My conscience told me it was wrong . I had more of those thoughts as I was growing up and my mind was so troubled that I no longer knew it was wrong . Different things saved me from suicide . One being the closeness I had with my children . The warmth of my youngest child as he threw his arms around me .
Monday, February 8, 2010, 7:41 PM
The singer sings ,"I belong to you and you belong to me ." Over and over the singer sings ,"I belong to you and you belong to me ."
Monday, February 8, 2010, 5:30 AM
I see gentleness in the face of a baby . Gentleness also in the wrinkled face of women who have labored in so many ways . Looking back men did not have gentle traits . Was there gentleness in me ? For many years there wasn't . Wasn't it okay to be quick on the draw with judgements ? Sadly I learned that to be gentle requires self-discipline .
I have known gentle souls . Because of them my heart became flesh and my spirit blossomed . Today , I hope I am growing in gentleness . Accepting who I am that can be a good start to accepting others where they are .