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    Being Adopted

    A group of 2 is OK I guess

    Thursday, November 1, 2007, 10:33 AM [General]
    Posted By: SISTERMIMI

    I realized that this may be a group of 2 and my other friend has not posted in a while.

    I spend quite a lot of time looking into the faces of my Grandchildren, hoping to see something that is different, something that could be from me.  They are so beautiful, I get lost just looking at them.  They and my sons are my only links to that unknown in my life.  It does get lonely, but that does not impact my happiness, only my completeness of self.

    I so wish there were others that could give feedback, but that is OK as well.  I will continue to add to this little group and hope someone else will find me.

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    Just two of us were adopted or did adopt ??

    Monday, October 29, 2007, 11:23 AM [General]
    Posted By: SISTERMIMI

    Well, if anyone reads this, I hope they can contribute to what I am going to write.

    I always knew that I was adopted.  I can't ever remember not knowing.  When I was old enough, I was given my adoption court records.  On it was my birth mother's name and I saw that SHE HAD NAMED ME!!  50 years ago, a child placed for adoption in a home had a one year waiting period before the actual adoption could be finalized.

    When my Mom saw that I had been named and my biological father's last name was used, it really made her think.  We talked about finding my birth mother, but we did discuss the pros and cons of doing this.  My birth mother was about 15 years old and I was delivered by C-section.  Back then, she would have been quite out of it for a few days.  My mother got a call from a friend who told her that a 3 day old infant girl was born and did she and my Dad want this child-ME.  Of course, they did and it was quite a strange meeting as my Mom recalls.  They were to meet at the delivering physician's office at 10 pm to get me.  They were so thrilled, she never thought till a year later when she saw the adoption papers, that this was probably done by my birth mother's parents.  I was named and the way my parents got me was strange.

    I have tried a few times with no luck, to find her, not necessarily to meet her.  I keep thinking that she may have been told that her child died.  She may have never spoken of me,  to her new family.  I am sure she married later and then had a family.

    My life was a good one with much love. Even with the empty space of the "NOT KNOWING", is it fair for me to potentially damage her live now?  Do I have that right to just walk in?  If her parents told her that I did die, how would that impact her relationship with them?

    And then what about my birth mother and her feelings?  It is harder now because my adopted parents are gone and there are times that I do feel like I have been orphaned twice.  I would look at faces with the same last names and still do.  I look for features in my grandchildren that are different, but so far they look like my son, who looks like his dad --that is Mason and Brooke looks exactly like her mother.  So nothing there.  The only thing that i do know is that my light brown eyes are a heterozygous brown because both of my boys have blue eyes, so I do have a gene for that meaning that one of my parents or grand parents had blue eyes.  And they made a short daughter--LOL.

    That is some of my story.  Feedback is appreciated.  I am not comfortable at this point giving their names yet--perhaps later on.

    Thanks for listening-------Eve


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    We need each other

    Monday, October 22, 2007, 9:44 PM [General]
    Posted By: SISTERMIMI

        I learned long ago that being adopted is a wonderful thing and yet has with it a pain, like a thorn on a rose.  I am sure those of you that read this know what I am talking about.

        When you adopt a child, as one myself, don't try and make this precious gift ever feel like he/she must live up to unrealistic expectations.  We are just like any other child.  I had a lot of pressure on me to be the best, which is not a bad thing, unless it is to make a point to others that somehow this difference should be better than a child that is your birth child.  I was always compared to others.  This caused issues later in my life.  I know I was loved completely, but that rose did come with a few thorns. 

    I would love to talk about this and my life.  The child that grows in your heart and not under it, is different, being adopted makes us different in many ways that only we can understand. 

    I hope to share with some of you.


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