One of the developmental tasks we face in life is to disagree constructively. This can be a hard one if you grew up in a strife-filled or hostile environment.
We will all disagree with someone at some point in life. That's not a big deal. Everyone is different and has their own way of seeing things, and it would be amazing if we were to agree with everyone all of the time.
The biggie is to learn how to disagree. If we get mad at the other person for seeing things their way, throw a fit and walk away, well then that's probably the end of that relationship.
When we disagree with someone, it can trigger unhealed emotional wounds, and make us defensive. If you notice this happening a lot, then maybe it's time to get some help in that area.
Disagreements can open up a dialogue to a compromise if both parties can decide to use it constructively to come to an understanding.
First of all, when you find yourself in a disagreement, examine your feelings. Do you disagree with this person because of how they make you feel? If that's the case, decide if they have unwittingly triggered some emotional response from you. If this is the case, you can tell them that, don't feel ashamed, it happens to everyone at one time or another, and then they can avoid saying, or doing that particular thing in the future. You can both apologize, and move on.
If there is no emotional baggage involved, then examine what exactly you dislike about the other person's position. If you don't understand how they can think that way, ask them to explain their position so that you can better understand it. Sometimes, we are so passionate about our position, that we can't see another's point of view. Maybe then you can see some of their reasons for thinking the way that they do, and can reach a point of dialogue where you can discuss your reasons for thinking your way, and can find some common ground on which you can build a compromise.
Many business', plans, and relationships have been built by being able to constructively disagree and find a solution that suits both parties.
Disagreeing constructively is something that you can add to your toolbox in life to help you build relationships with others.
Until next time!
Rev. Angelia Schwarz-Coleman, CDCP