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    Most widely active person

    Monday, June 2, 2008, 1:54 PM [General]

    Today I went into the forums. I usually don't one day I go through my groups, sometimes twice. Then the other day I keep in contact with my beliefnet friends. I love them all and my prayers are with them. I was shocked to see that I'm the most active member this week. Altough I love this site, there is so much to learn and do. Plus being disabled its easy to spend alot of time on the site. Hope everyone has a super day. If you need to change something in your life, to attain your path then thats what one has to do. It works. I pray to Jesus everyday, He has been faithful and has helped me make friends. I was very withdrawn before. Now I'm in love with life and look forward to tomorrow.
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    Its a wonderful Saturday night

    Saturday, May 31, 2008, 10:24 PM [General]

    Del, my common-law spouse of 6 years took me out for supper, than I went to my girlfriend Randa's to see her new baby boy named Prophet. Picked up my avon order and feeling so good. Like I could hug the whole world. Praise God. The spirituality growth is really progressing, plus the positive thinking. I have made some wonderful friends here. Looking forward to going to church tomorrow. I haven't been well enough to go. But I feel good today, and have had a good week physically. I walked through Canadian Tire and the Staples, so I think I can manage the four blocks, they aren't large blockes neither. It will be good for me to get out and see my friends. Hope everyone has a super evening and great Sunday.
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    Phoned the surgeon

    Friday, May 30, 2008, 3:00 PM [General]

    I guess if you have read my profile that I am ill, well today I had to make an appointment with my surgeon. I think he is thinking of doing surgery. I have a paralzed stomach which is  affecting my small bowel, the cat scan showed diseased part of my small bowel. They said it almost looked like colitis. Anyway when I get sick now I have to go to the hospital and have the nose plug put into my stomach. That is not nice. I can tell you. Now I have to think of something positive to put in my grateful journal. This is hard.
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    Found a helpful group

    Thursday, May 29, 2008, 10:39 AM [General]

    finally found a nice group tat will help me spitirtually, its Nuturing and positive thinking. I decided to start my day with recording something I'm grateful for today. Hopefully then I can start my day on a positive note. I thank Jesus for that blessing, and go through my day. Even when the chronic pain gets to be to much, I can remember my blessings. So much for a positive step. No to put plan into action.
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    The greatest gift I ever gave anyone

    Wednesday, May 28, 2008, 2:00 PM [General]

     Well when I think about it, it would be giving birth to my children. But I don't think they are grateful. They blame me for alot of problems, and I guess some are justified because I was drinking. I only quit 6 years ago. I have tried to make it up to them, but it seems I can't. My daughter is getting married in July and I can't make it to her wedding because of my health. They want to perform surgery this summer, on my stomach and small bowel. I have a paralyzed stomach which is now affecting my small bowel. Anyway I won't be able to attend, I can only stay up for maybe 2 hours at a time, then I have to lay down. I'm in constant pain. Emotionally and physically. But it was the greatest gift ever to have my children, maybe one day we will be close. Even if it has to be in heaven.Embarassed
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    Biblical Archaeology

    Wednesday, May 28, 2008, 12:47 PM [General]

    Found a site that gives online courses on biblical archaeology. Its my summer project. Thought it would give me something to do. Need something to occupy my time and learning new things is always good. I'm interested in archeaology, so this may help, also have a book called the dead sea scrolls, which I'm reading. Only lately I haven't been reading when I go to bed. Maybe I can change what time I do my reading. That might work better. Maybe afternoons, on the deck would be a good place to read. Possiblities are endless haha. Just need to think it through.
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    I have been searching for a nice goup

    Tuesday, May 27, 2008, 2:29 PM [General]

     I'm searching for a group with something new and daring. Something that challenges me, to think and grow. Don't know where it will lead me. So if any one has any new ideas or seen a unique site please let me know.
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    Whom do I remember this memorial day

    Saturday, May 24, 2008, 9:14 AM [General]

    you'd think since in Canada we celebrate the Queens birthday. I'd think of her, but I think of Lady Dianna. She did such good charity work and was a real down to earth person. Actually they handled her death very poorly in my eyes. And I'm sure in the world's eye also. My opinion anyway. She was stunning, vivacious, and had a huge heart for the ill fortunate. I want to remember this great Lady. There may never be such a person as her again. Her death shocked the world and grieved for this fine person. What a fine example she has left for her legacy.
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    Possessed Jeep

    Wednesday, May 21, 2008, 8:48 PM [General]

    Our vehicles personality....the jeep with a mind of its own. It runs in the winter with numerous flat tires you caan imagine in Manitoba weather, nothing is built to with stand our weather. So it groans and moans refusing to turnover its engine until all our meager savings dwindle enough for us to not go anywhere. Sometimes if the sun is shing just right you can see the evil within it, sinister, sneering, almost begging for us to try to fix it again. So you think well, I need the jeep to travel, but it just has no heart.
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    How do you pick up the pieces and go on??

    Wednesday, May 21, 2008, 4:30 PM [General]


    Its so hard to bear pay caused by emotionally from an abusive relationship, then live the rest of your life ill because of it. The hurt inside is deep, I feel like I was whipped like an animal. I don't even hurt my dog like that. How can people who are supposed to love you treat you like that??Its shameful to admit to anyone that I was treated that way. I wonder do war prisoners feel like animals?? I pray for God to give me strenght everyday to keep going to try and forget the horror. But its a part of me affects me emotionally, I have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and agorapobia( a fear of people). Plus the physical pain from the lupus, fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, periperal vascular disease, gastric paresis (paralyzed stomach) which is now affecting my small bowel. It was seen in a Cat Scan, it looked diseased like colitis. ow do you rise above everyday?? I don't know..I just do my best...I reach out to others on the net, through this community. I am beginning to make alot of friends. I think this journal will help me...I need to let out a lot of poison. Some of it is just hilarious and even I have to laugh about it. Its just my luck. Trust me..stick with me and be amazed. I have unusual luck, but I guess there always is 2 sides to every story. Should be an enlightening situation, maybe I will grow spiritually. I hope so. Someting has to work right, I must try to rise above this mess

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