He is in the hospital...dehydrated and has a pnemonia. Looks like the best for him is hospice care and prayers that when the time comes he goes in peace.

I am worried about my mom........I feel blah 

Got home today and the boys ROCK BAND STUFF was all over my living room ....I wanted to run away..very fast and very far..I almost lost it but then I decided to write....checked my e mails..sent a few out and now I am here.....I love writting ..it helps me to relax!

Then a song by Bon Jovi" Dead or Alive" came on and my youngest was singing it and I decided to join him....it was fun..I feel better now

BUt yes back to reality...dad is in the hospital again.....he has not eaten in 3 days..and is not wanting to take his med.....I feel that I have to go see him BUT honeslty...I do not want to see him the way he is..my sis told me he  has a oxygen mask and looks really bad. I want to remember my dad in a different way..I am freaking out that when he goes I might fall apart and not be able to be there for my mother. 

And...I have a phone date later.... 

Time to get going..back to my reality......

LOL 

I had  a week by myslef here at my place. The boys were with their dad and I was also off from work. I had a wonderful time witrh ME. I went on my daily walks...I meditated..I listen to music as loud as I wanted...I eat whenever I wanted..if I didnt want to cook I wouldn't. I watched movies and read all I could. It was a very relaxing time for me...now the kids are back and that FREEDOM is gone. I love my kids do not get me wrong but for someone that has them 24/7 I needed more time to be alone and have that freedom I crave all year long

I am grateful for the time off I had.. but I feel that I still need more time to recharge myslef...

I would give anything to be able to just get on a plne and go...anywhere...for a few days....and not feel guilty about it..

I need more time with ME!! 

Just needed to vent........ 

One of my favorite quotes:

"Your thoughts became things" 

I have decided to start posting my favorites quotes on here....maybe even start journaling more often..you know..life..kids..been single....whatever it's on my mind but  for today..for now it will be a quote.

"I heard once that love is like friendship on fire" 

from the movie  " Perfect man"