On Sunday, I laid my 19 year old kitty to rest. Wrapped up in her favorite blanket where she liked to curl up next to the heater, I buried her under the shelter of a mighty tree. May the leaves shelter her from the sun and the rain, may the roots hold her, may the birds that find harbor in the tree sing to her, and may this huge void in my heart eventually stitch back together....

We learn to embrace some of the best aspects of humanity from our children and pets. That best within us originates from Unconditional Love and Compassion. Yet I just learned another lesson from my little baby girl kitty... That part of Unconditional Love is knowing when to Let Go.... part of compassion and mercy is knowing when to Let Go.

I didn't learn to let go soon enough for my baby girl, so I have to live with the knowledge that I may have prolonged her suffering BECAUSE I didn't know how to Let Go. I knew that as elderly and crotchety as she was getting, that eventually I would have to mourn her. A few months ago, she stopped grooming herself. She's always been such a meticulous kitty, I should have listened to this clue. She stopped seeking affection and quit hopping up into my lap in a fuzzy ball of purring kitty contentment. I should have listened to this clue but I didn't. Because her appetite was still healthy, because she continued to drink plenty of water, because she didn't exhibit any difficulty hopping into and out of her litter box, I only listened to her physical needs and didn't take a holistic approach to consider her emotional needs as well.

I probably should have taken her to the vet a few months ago but I didn't want to let her go. Instead, she died at home in the kitchen, where she rarely went. I believe she went to the kitchen to die because she didn't want to die where she had lived.

The decision to euthanize a dear and beloved member of the family is never easy, but we have to learn to take the "me" out of it and allow the needs of our beloved pets to take priority.  If quality of life has gone down to the point where a meticulous princess kitty no longer grooms herself and no longer cuddles in the lap, it may be time to consider offering the ultimate in compassion and selfless love... an end to pain. I've since learned that there are vets in some areas who will come to your home to euthanize your pet.

I hope I'll remember this lesson 1001 I learned from my little baby kitty girl... I miss her dearly.