I saw your recent prayer circle, though the site won't seem to show my comments there. Anyway, I don't mean to pry, but I wouldn't necessarily jump to the conclusion that attempting to get your life in order and visiting your husband are mutually exclusive. Keep in mind how difficult it must be for him as well; I imagine your visits mean a lot to him. In any event I pray that God bless and guide you both, working all for the best. I thank Him for all, despite difficulties. Amen!