See here for an important message regarding the community which will become a read-only site October 31.
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From the sound of your prayer circle (which I can't post on for some reason) it seems like you've given up on happiness or making a difference---please try not to have that attitude. I pray that God improves your circumstances, and that He helps you to feel and find His presence no matter what. I know it's hard, but try to believe that He is with you, and that you can let go of the past and find God now, even in the hardest situations.
Best of luck and God bless!